It’s my birthday tomorrow, and I’m gonna be thirty (mumble mumble) years old. How do I feel about that? I don’t know. I try to tell myself it’s just a number, but then my back pain yells that it’s very much not.

Here are some things about the whole experience that you’ll understand if you’re in the same achy boat.

10. You gotta lower the bar

“Serotonin? In this economy?”

9. You’re outdated

It is absolutely wild to remember a time when it took like three days to pull up a Netflix movie and that felt fast, somehow.

8. You fall hard

I slipped on the ice like a week ago and I’m still paying for it.

7. You get the worst combinations

Am I a child or a vampire? DECIDE, BODY!

6. You’re still a kid inside

Gonna put a bunch of those stars on my ceiling and let ’em fall on my face.

5. You grow apart

Then like four years will go by and you won’t even notice it.

4. You hang WAY over

Just clear the whole day.

3. You’re always cleaning

It just sort of regenerates, somehow.

2. Everything costs way too much

I’ve never purchased any rug larger than a bath mat for exactly this reason.

1. You’re caught in the middle

I know how to use Zoom, but I’m still gonna yell at it.

I may not be super cool with the whole ageing thing, but as many philosophers have pointed out, there ain’t much I can do about it. Might as well just enjoy the insanity!

What’s the strangest thing about being your age?

Tell us in the comments.