Robin Williams, when pontificating about his struggles with addiction following his rise to fame, once said “Coc**ne is God’s way of telling you that you have too much money.”
I think about that quote a lot, because I think there are LOTS of indications that someone has too much money. For instance, you might find yourself purchasing something like this thing spotted in the wild by Twitter user @lexilafluer.
A hobby of mine is finding ridiculous items for sale at Nordstrom’s. This might be my best find yet. pic.twitter.com/racNtYs0jB
— Lexi Brown, PhD (@lexilafleur) April 21, 2021
And just look at those five star reviews! To those of us who are broke, this is like staring at an alien civilization. What in the heck is going on here? How do you throw cash at this? And what other object purchases indicate that you probably have way too much money?
Well, for starters, these.
10. Gloved Silk Double Satin Bolero – $740
Thanks, that’s my new band name.
— Megan A. Taros (@megataros) April 21, 2021
9. Neiman Marcus Tamales – $92
What? Why? HOW?
Neiman Marcus sells Tamales pic.twitter.com/C7yD6Hb07f
— ♡ solamente andrea 🙄 (@AndreaSarai) April 22, 2021
8. Phone Cord Necklace – $2,000
I guess we need to repurpose all of those somehow.
Ohhh I wanna play, please prepare yourself for …. pic.twitter.com/ZvtuZtrV5f
— Afua Asabea (Fefe) 🍫 (@tro_feeeee) April 22, 2021
7. Supreme Brick – $300
These will be useful when the revolution comes.
why was this the first thing that came to mind lmao pic.twitter.com/uYQkcoxxxx
— bad ghrl bri bri 🌱 (@chinchlady701) April 22, 2021
6. Skin Cream – $1,290
This had better literally send me back in time.
My favorite is this $1,290 cream: pic.twitter.com/q7DT0ddaCY
— Becca Marcus (@Is_becca_marcus) April 22, 2021
5. Golden Ratio Hair Roller – $280
So very high class.
Oh hi. Seen this a couple of days ago pic.twitter.com/iHhFMxWSID
— Hi, Im Nesh (@_LokeyDokey_) April 22, 2021
4. Diamond Bangle Bracelet – $33,370
That only cost like, 3 times as much as my car. That’s fine. We’re all fine.
Although this gold-plated bunch of Steak ‘n Shake fries also takes the cake pic.twitter.com/fyav3xsrHy
— Hillary (@hillary_l_m) April 22, 2021
3. Shrimp Cocktail Bag – $1,495
Whoa, a $40 bonus?! What a deal!
— Jamie (@jamiesanpedroo) April 23, 2021
2. Bra Purse – Priceless
For carrying your stuff.
not from nordies, but today i found a bra shaped purse. pic.twitter.com/JoDrSLVFv5
— danielle p. (@drdpdo) April 22, 2021
1. Ceramic Vase – $600
This was a while ago but I once found a $600 penis vase. pic.twitter.com/DznEr69PXS
— sashxmoni (@sashxmoni) April 22, 2021
Yeah, definitely too much money.
What’s the biggest purchase you’ve made recently?
Tell us in the comments.