There’s nobody in the world who can escape the draw of Twitter. Not for very long, anyway. Sure, we all say “that’s enough for now,” but pretty soon we’re crawling back to our apps for more.
And who could blame us? For all the stress and the noise, there are little nuggets in there that are so good they rival even the chicken variety.
It’s that sort of greatness that compels us to reenter the fray, and we are all but powerless to resist.
Here’s the thing though – this list is just the tasty nuggets. None of the other stuff. You’re welcome. Chow down.
10. Absolute breakdown
We’re all there all the time now.
mentally i am here pic.twitter.com/sUOeDeehKf
— Osk🤪 (@yaboyosk) September 9, 2020
9. Highway hypnosis
There’s a snake in my existential ennui.
me forgetting that i exist while i’m driving pic.twitter.com/ZT0dg1Dtbx
— Cupid’s Nut ♥ (@damn_lui) September 5, 2020
8. A light touch
Nobody show my girlfriend this tweet.
bitches be like “my room is a vibe” and it’s dirty as hell with LED lights
— Anthony 🦉 (@PimpNotSimp) September 11, 2020
7. Single serving
Loudest and proudest, baby.
Dj : If you single make some noise 🗣🗣🗣 My heart broken ass : pic.twitter.com/jwvmqSFWKS
— Phurious (@So_phurious) September 4, 2020
6. Bio hacking
I see what you did there, and you ought to be very ashamed.
onlyfans in bio pic.twitter.com/dOa7kFfcDZ
— ♡ archi ♡ (@nxtlvlarchi) September 4, 2020
We are entering territory no conception of God could forgive.
just got my first covey test and chile when that thing hit the back of my nussy (nose pussy)…………..
— fat jon boyega (@larryowenslive) September 14, 2020
Oh, so you wanna fight now? Is that what we’re doing?
old ppl b sending “k.” texts not knowing the weight it carries
— ً (@BLNDlSM) September 12, 2020
3. Virgin edibles
You’re just talking about food, my man. That’s called food.
has anyone tried making edibles but without weed? like virgin edibles or something
— elijah (@fakeleny) September 11, 2020
2. The great divide
Which version of awful sophistication do you prefer?
should i live in new york where people think i’m stupid or LA where people think i’m ugly
— trash jones (@jzux) September 9, 2020
1. Double standards
What’s the point in having such a big nose if you don’t look down it all the time?
Squidward was so bougie like he didn't work the same job and live on the same street as SpongeBob 💀
— 🧙🏿jas⁷ 🧙🏿 (@unfxxkwittable) September 4, 2020
Not necessarily nutritious, but definitely a delicious internet snacky spread. Satisfying as all get out. Now if only we had dipping sauce…
Who are your favorite Twitter personalities right now?
Tell us in the comments.