One of my favorite Facebook groups is called Previously Unsaid Sentences in Human History.
The purpose of the group is to collect instances of, well, sentences that almost certainly had never been said before. The irony is, you could probably get a year’s worth just scrolling through Tumblr for a little while. That place is full of all KINDS of stuff nobody had occasion to say previously.
Just take these ten random examples:
10. “Awful bold of you to assume I have blood.”
This is an absolute roller coaster and I literally read it while drinking soda just now.
9. “Next time he’ll think.”
If I pull it out do I get to be king of something?
8. “I’ll shred your shoes.”
If you can’t be famous, be infamous.
7. “A coconut is a mammal.”
Turns out the human need to categorize everything creates some weird problems.
6. “Never say anything to a penguin that the penguin has not already said to you.”
Nothing worse than being waddled away from in disgust.
5. “No itsa not”
Terrible joke or the best terrible joke? You decide.
4. “Do you do lemonade?”
I’m gonna go make myself an Arnold Face-Palmer.
3. “Tony Hawk is like f*cking Perry the Platypus.”
“Are you Tony Hawk?”
2. “Pours box of cornflakes directly onto the floor”
Thank you, brave job creators.
1. “7 x 7 = 49 and Thursday feel the exact same.”
This is true and it bothers me that this is true.
I’ve got no pants big enough for the porcupine man and he’s threatening to discontinue my membership. That doesn’t actually mean anything, I just wanted to join in on the fun and write a sentence nobody has said before. Felt good.
What’s a sentence you think is previously unsaid?
Try creating one in the comments.