You seen any good tweets around lately? I’ve been lookin’ and lookin’ and for the life of me I just can’t seem to track any down.
I’ve tried everything – the park, under my couch, beneath the fears I keep locked away within my deepest self, and nothin’!
I guess maybe I could try scrolling down. See if there are any tweets below this text. But, yanno, I DOUBT it.
10. Deep fears
I experienced quicksand in real life for the first time recently and let me tell you, it is, at worst, trippy.
Looking back, what was your most overblown childhood fear and why was it either quicksand, the Bermuda Triangle, or leeches
— Sara Levine (@saralememe) November 23, 2020
9. Silly goose
“We tried to warn ya man! Get out of our pavilion, man!”
I still can’t believe I got to watch this happen with my own two eyes pic.twitter.com/ihYmOsue6S
— Hurt CoPain (@SaeedDiCaprio) November 20, 2020
8. Uber sneaky
“Oh crap I was supposed to take a picture, here ya go.”
Why Did My Uber Eats Driver Send Me A Picture Of Me Taking My Food In The House ???😭 pic.twitter.com/UZYj0JVLu2
— S̸ T̸ E̸ E̸ Z̸ Y̸ (@PapiiSteez) November 19, 2020
7. Frog day afternoon
He blob. He frog. He nap inside he bog.
Lately the only emotion I've had is lazy frog pic.twitter.com/mb6hgniTcV
— ☆ AMBER WOYWITKA ☆ (@AmarisOctober) February 16, 2020
6. Let him speak!
The pressure is too much and I just sorta crumble.
WARNING ⚠️: Do not put me on Speaker Phone, I am not Speaker Phone material 🥺
— Dawn (@DawnCkcbaronmom) October 30, 2020
Just give them some bread and let them be.
Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon, no matter how good you are, the bird is going to shit on the board
— Tesla Muhamad Abduh (@teslatest) February 18, 2014
4. The big five
That’s an enormous accomplishment, maybe. Depends on the content of the mails.
Woke up and answered five emails so I think it’s time to call it a day???
— When's Happy Hour? (@whenshappyhour1) November 13, 2020
3. New expectations
The bags within the bag always feels stupid until the moment you need it and you can’t find it.
Things I thought I would have as an adult: a thriving career, an amazing social life, an impressive retirement account.
Things I actually have as an adult: a plastic bag filled with plastic bags, a favorite spatula, crippling anxiety.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) August 25, 2019
2. Do the math
Hey, that sounds like a pretty sweet deal.
*reading the nutrition facts of a cookie*
me: so I’ll need to eat at least 83 of these to get 100% of my daily protein
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) November 17, 2020
1. On the flip side
It’s all me, and it’s all a mess.
I have two moods pic.twitter.com/JxJMCldiXx
— MadJaeger ◉‿◉ (@ipanneko) November 21, 2020
Oh wow, it turns out the Tweets were here all along! On this very page! And inside all of us! The internet truly is a magical place.
Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?
Tell us in the comments.