Does anybody else remember the Twitter fail whale? I’m not kidding, this was a thing.
In the early days of Twitter, they were very much still working out the kinks in terms of their programming and their servers. They grew in popularity pretty quickly and their infrastructure wasn’t quite equipped to keep up with it all, so Twitter crashes were pretty common. Like, the whole site would just go down. And when it did, there was this graphic of a whale being hoisted up my birds. The fail whale.
Luckily, those days of failure are all behind us. Nothing but success on Twitter now. Like these highly successful tweets.
10. Bumbling around
For want of a boot.
wtf guy on bumble was like "I don't like bumble can we talk on snap?" I was like "I don't have snap u can message me on insta" and he was like "I don't have insta what about kik" I was like "I don't have kik what abt comments section of youtube video" and he unmatched me
— Sahana Srinivasan (@sahana_srini) January 31, 2021
9. See no evil
I do find though that it’s equally weird to see new stuff coming out that was written like two years ago?
Before literally the entire world changed?
how do we tell hollywood that nobody wants to see the pandemic on tv. we are depressed, unemployed, and existentially plagued. we long for escapism
— yamini (@showmetheyamz) January 30, 2021
8. Dolla bills
If you stared at me doing my job from a distance it would probably look like nothing.
I act like I’m okay but deep down inside I wanna get paid for doing nothing
— GIRLOFTHEYEAR (@aaliyahforprezz) January 25, 2021
7. Eye of the beholder
“You’re my insignificant other” is a pretty brutal breakup line.
a significant other implies the existence of an insignificant other
— ziegfield 🎄⭐️ (@mziegfield) May 31, 2019
6. Crushing it
These are the surefire signs.
If I have a crush on you here is how you’ll know:
1) I will follow you on twitter
2) I will never talk to you
— Elliot Bromberg (@Elliotwith1T) January 29, 2021
5. Moo kid on the block
I need to know what games these are so I can play them all.
we as a society need to start hyping up all the pixel cows from video games pic.twitter.com/7TKuqISwXk
— mer ☀ (@cowhagumi) January 25, 2021
4. It’s truancy, then
That’s a sacrifice she’s willing to make.
my daughter asked why she can’t just quit school and i told her it’s against the law and they’ll put me in jail and my sweet sweet child looked me in the eye and said “i’ll visit you”
— CeciATL (@CeciATL) January 28, 2021
3. Dirty dancing
Sounds hot, I’m in.
opening a conspiracy theory themed strip club, calling it illuminaughty
— ꧁Madimoiselle꧂ (@drivingmemadi) January 27, 2021
2. Trick up my sleeve
Her: Where’s your ink? Your profile said you had a sleeve.
Me: *pulls out sleeve of girl scout cookies*
— The Untastic Mr. Fitz (@UnFitz) January 28, 2021
1. Financial analysis
Ah, thank you, that’s much clearer.
For anyone confused about the GameStop thing here’s a quick explanation: GameStop is a store where you can buy or sell games
— Vanderpump and Dump (@munemoji) January 28, 2021
Final score – Twitter: 10, me: also 10.
Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?
Tell us in the comments.