How’s your day going so far? Good? Bad? Hangin’ in there?
No matter what state you may find yourself in, there’s nothing that a few good tweets can’t make better.
Good tweets like these, for instance, from some of the funniest ladies on Twitter!
10. Dog gone
“I don’t know what I did but I’m gonna keep doing it.” – dog, probably
2020 was a kinda bad year for me but a really good year for my dog who did not have to be alone for a single second
— Dana Donnelly (@danadonly) December 14, 2020
9. Santa, Baby
Psh, I don’t even have a budget for the micro machine.
Youngest sisters be like "Can I have a Porsche for Christmas, thanks you're a doll 😘,"
— Bolu Babalola (@BeeBabs) December 10, 2020
8. By the numbers
I swear there used to be more…
I printed 40 Christmas cards and after sending them to all my friends and family, I have 37 left.
— Hanna Dickinson (@hansdickie) December 13, 2020
7. Wait for it
This reminds me a lymric I wrote:
There once was the strangest of gents
Who kept everyone in suspense
He said “Get ready!”
And “Hold yourself steady!”
you’ve heard of cliffhangers, now get ready
— anja (@internetanja) December 14, 2020
6. That’s trippy
It’s a matter of pride, and also of stairs. It’s a matter of stairs and pride.
I’d rather risk losing circulation to my arm than make a second trip pic.twitter.com/qPzc5MSTlj
— ☠︎ (@lenarios27) December 16, 2020
5. Eyes on the prize
It will always be there for you. Watching. Waiting. Commiserating.
Start each day with a positive thought like, "I can go back to bed in about 16 hours."
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) December 17, 2020
4. The yuck factor
I love pouring ranch on a salad. Like “boy these leafy greens sure are healthy, butter smother them in fat.”
I am an ADULT. I have a JOB. I pay my BILLS. I cover all my vegetables in CHEESE because otherwise they're GROSS
— andie DiStefan☻ (@AndieIsOnline) December 15, 2020
3. We can do it!
This whole scene is like burned into my brain.
ratatouille this and ratatouille that what about some respect for my friggin girlies pic.twitter.com/3G8bRmZXai
— Maggie? Winters? (@saggiesplinters) December 15, 2020
2. Mr. Sir Boy!
A friend of mine recently referred to her cat as a “woman” and I don’t know why but it really messed with my head.
me: gender is a social construct
me to my cat: Mr. Sir! You are just a little boy who is a man. Mr. Sir Boy!
— grace spelman: totally exonerated, no wrongdoing (@GraceSpelman) December 13, 2020
1. Dead serious
If I was half as good at doing things as I am talking myself out of doing things, I’d be rich.
"ok but have you considered not even trying to do this thing you agreed to months ago because who even was that person?"–my brain, on a deadline
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) December 14, 2020
See? Your day is better already! No need to thank us. Thank Twitter. It’s the real hero here.
Who are your favorite people to follow on the platform?
Tell us in the comments.