Need a little vacation but literally can’t even leave the building you’re in right now? Not a problem, we’ve got the perfect stay-right-there getaway for you. Full disclosure, it’s just a bunch of tweets. But they’re so delightful that you won’t even feel like you’re scrolling through the comedic offerings of the Twitterverse, you’ll feel far away, in a carefree paradise all your own.

Or maybe you’ll just laugh a little. Either way, here’s some tweets.

10. Breakfast of champions

It’s the meal of my dreams and the stuff of nightmares.

9. I’m on the case

If you haven’t cracked it, I kinda doubt I will.

8. Ol’ reliable

And we LIKED it.

7. Hello? Helloooo?

Oh my god is this still a thing? I thought this went the way of custom ringtones.

6. Loathe at first sight

It’s good to feel this sort of certainty in life.

5. Couch surfing

Lie back and sail the seven zzzzzzz’s.

4. Bring it down, now

From the before times, when restaurants roamed wild on the face of the earth.

3. Pull the rug out

I like our apartment, but there’s not enough adorable disdain in here, yanno?

2. Gotta go fast

I’m getting nothing done with ruthless efficiency.

1. Cold stares

I just popped in to see what condition my conditioner was in.

We hate to bring your little tweet vacation to a close, but that’s all we got for now. Be sure to travel with us again real soon!

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