Need a little vacation but literally can’t even leave the building you’re in right now? Not a problem, we’ve got the perfect stay-right-there getaway for you. Full disclosure, it’s just a bunch of tweets. But they’re so delightful that you won’t even feel like you’re scrolling through the comedic offerings of the Twitterverse, you’ll feel far away, in a carefree paradise all your own.
Or maybe you’ll just laugh a little. Either way, here’s some tweets.
10. Breakfast of champions
It’s the meal of my dreams and the stuff of nightmares.
Follow me for more amazing recipe's 😋 pic.twitter.com/FSeocUt300
— Vanshi 🐣 (@asgoodasvanshi) November 8, 2020
9. I’m on the case
If you haven’t cracked it, I kinda doubt I will.
Netflix: Can YOU solve these Unsolved Mysteries?!
Me: *sitting on the couch in my underwear eating my fourth bowl of Coco Puffs* Prolly
— Reese, but with turkey 🦃 (@Its_Just_Reese) July 1, 2020
8. Ol’ reliable
And we LIKED it.
me: do you have any ibuprofen
my grandpa: back in my day we just died
— jelly (@jellycatsmells) March 7, 2019
7. Hello? Helloooo?
Oh my god is this still a thing? I thought this went the way of custom ringtones.
Ppl who make their voicemail sound like they’ve answered the phone deserve jail time
— k1 (@gokkemal9) July 7, 2020
6. Loathe at first sight
It’s good to feel this sort of certainty in life.
Sometimes you meet someone and you know from the first moment that you want to spend your whole life without them.
— Tina Mucci (@MucciTina) December 18, 2019
5. Couch surfing
Lie back and sail the seven zzzzzzz’s.
You know you need a cruise when you see a boat sailing across the ocean, but it's actually a tear on your leather sofa. pic.twitter.com/Tq49k5tnaS
— Ivan 💥 (@StarStuff_ivan) May 1, 2020
4. Bring it down, now
From the before times, when restaurants roamed wild on the face of the earth.
I love being in a restaurant when they change the lighting from “lunch” to “horny”
— Alison Agosti (@AlisonAgosti) July 20, 2018
3. Pull the rug out
I like our apartment, but there’s not enough adorable disdain in here, yanno?
Husband: we don't have anymore room for more cats
— Sia (@meme__thetic) July 29, 2020
2. Gotta go fast
I’m getting nothing done with ruthless efficiency.
Coffee is great when you want to be stressed but faster
— Hannah Berner (@beingbernz) June 18, 2020
1. Cold stares
I just popped in to see what condition my conditioner was in.
I can't imagine the things this hotel air conditioner has seen pic.twitter.com/ARB5lX8XHC
— Derek Lucas (@DerekRuffian) June 25, 2016
We hate to bring your little tweet vacation to a close, but that’s all we got for now. Be sure to travel with us again real soon!
Who are the best Twitter people of all time?
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