No matter how busy you are, you’ve always got time for a few funny tweets.

I mean, maybe “technically” you don’t. Maybe technically you’re supposed to be “working” right now or “driving your wife to the hospital” so she can “give birth to your son,” but I think we can all agree that life is about priorities, and you should always be able to make tweets one of those priorities.

These are funny enough to justify that, I believe.

10. The checklist

I’m sure it’s fine, I’m sure it’s fine, I’m sure it’s fine.

9. Kneed for speed

We beat the crap out of ourselves and our parents just kinda shrugged.

8. That’s peanuts!

All dogs are standing in the shadow of the one true great.

7. Gettin’ spooked

What’s weird is that for some people this would INCREASE the value.

6. What does it mean?

Last night I dreamed that I owned four huge TVs and I hope that’s just a straight up sign of things to come.

5. Pack it up

Psh, like that’s gonna stop anybody.

4. The Butler did it!

For those who don’t remember, this was like an early Google that didn’t work.

3. High alert

Why do anteaters constantly look like they want to fight you in a Denny’s parking lot?

2. I’m melting

These things were always just the definition of false advertising.

1. Avoid the noid

Is that a cat or some kind of interdimensional elder God?

I think it’s pretty self-evident that reading those tweets was worth you stopping whatever you were doing. Now go turn off the stove or whatever, you might could be burning your house down.

Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?

Tell us in the comments.