It was my birthday the other day and somewhere along the line my friends and I started arguing about what counted as “middle aged.”
12. The stare
Gotta take off these things that help me see so that I can see better.
— Masa_KDK12 (@Masa_KDK1) December 3, 2020
11. Wandering aisles
I came here to get my soy milk, not go on some god-forsaken treasure hunt.
#YouAreOfficiallyAnAdult when you’re pissed they changed the layout at the grocery store
— 🍒Acidic Blonde™️ (@Acidic_Blonde) December 3, 2020
10. The special sound
That’s why I call old folks’ homes jazz joints.
#YouAreOfficiallyAnAdult when your joints make more music than you listen to in a day
— Chris O'Brien (@bigdweeb) December 3, 2020
9. Sock it to me!
(To the tune of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”):
The presents are looking a lot like towels
I’m thrilled, and that makes me sad
When I was five I wanted a sled, now my inner child is dead
Oh my God, they’re so soft!
— dessyᴮᴱ⁷生 (@Dessytothemax) December 3, 2020
8. Hundo p
Somebody gave me a hundred bucks as a gift the other day and while I absolutely appreciated it my first thought was “I can’t do even a single bill with this.”
#YouAreOfficiallyAnAdult when you realize a $100 bill doesn’t hold as much value as you once thought when you were a kid. $100 is more like $20.
— Jazz 👾 (@MommaBearJazz) December 3, 2020
7. Very alarming
Wakey wakey, time for achey.
— Meredith Silverman😷 (@archangelcrew) December 3, 2020
6. Childlike wonder
I’ve still got the jingle stuck in my head and I probably will forever.
— yourgalpal (@yourgalpal3) December 3, 2020
5. Bills for Bill
Hey thanks, I hate it.
When the bills come in your name #YouAreOfficiallyAnAdult
— KimDifford (@DiffordKim) December 3, 2020
4. Holy sheet
Heck, I get excited just lying down on freshly washed ones.
— I_aim _to_be_me (@I_aim_to_be_me) December 3, 2020
3. Snooze cruise!
Dude there’s literally nothing better.
— Shatasha (@ScorpioShatasha) December 3, 2020
2. New tastes
“Is this music actually very bad or am I just ancient?”
— JOHN MORRIS (@mashfan0678) December 3, 2020
1. Think outside the box
And you never know when you might have to move, I guess?
When you consider keeping a box because, well… it's a good box. #YouAreOfficiallyAnAdult
— SilentEnn (@benstep11) December 3, 2020
I’ve checked every single one of these boxes and I think that means I can now retire?
What would you add to the list?
Tell us in the comments.