Ever think about how there are tweets literally just flying around in the surrounding air all the time? Beaming in from cell towers and wi-fi routers, little ones and zeros containing bite-sized textual oddities on their way from one random corner of the globe to another?
Tweets flittering through the sky just like the ones from real birds?
You ever think about that? No? Just me?
That’s fine. You don’t have to have my obscure appreciation for over-the-air tech to enjoy these twelve random tweets.
12. Know when to walk away
I don’t need any egging on.
Know when to fold ‘em
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) April 24, 2020
11. Bully for you
That’s…good? I guess?
I know there's a lot going on right now but I just Googled my childhood bully and she works in bullying advocacy and I am spiraling.
— 🏳️🌈 G A B Y ✡️ (@gabydunn) April 24, 2020
10. Out of my shell
The more I learn about turtles the more I wonder: why are turtles?
Daily reminder that turtles are not “inside” their shells. They *are* their shells. pic.twitter.com/CS8UcDE3o2
— Ada McVean 🌈 Ça va bien aller ♥️ (@AdaMcVean) April 21, 2020
9. Arrival day
A day without a package is hardly a day at all.
My wife likes to keep the mystery in our relationship.
For example, I never know what is going to arrive for her from Amazon today.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 4, 2020
8. Drink up
This is gonna be a very interesting battle.
My kung-fu style is couching tiger, off the wagon
— Nom de Benoît (@NomDeBenoit) April 24, 2020
7. Water into wine
What’s with the third degree over here?
I need a set of plastic wine glasses for the shower. What I don't need are your stupid questions.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) April 18, 2020
6. Square off
Guess we need a bigger house.
Kitchen square dance here we go
Eye roll your partner do-si-do
Forward and back
Step left then right
Get outa my way
no sex tonight
— Kerry on Wayward Son (@EmissaryKerry) April 20, 2020
5. The which and the wardrobe
I’m sorry – thirty seemed LOW to you?
Me then: I just don't get how people can do a capsule wardrobe. 30 pieces – no way!!
Me now: rotates between the same pair of yoga pants and pajama pants for three weeks straight. Ahhhh I see.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) April 20, 2020
4. Clean ’em out
This is my entire life tho.
If you’re not getting dressed directly out of a laundry basket then ding dong you’re doing quarantine wrong.
— Sarah Cottrell (@HousewifePlus) April 22, 2020
3. Time doesn’t fly
When nobody’s having fun.
How, and I cannot stress this enough, is it only 2pm
— Betches (@betchesluvthis) April 22, 2020
2. Hear me roar
This is not the decade I ordered
I was ready for the roaring 20’s not this Great Depression bullshit..
— Trevor Struble (@Mrtdog240) April 1, 2020
He big. He glow.
and in that moment, I swear we were infinite pic.twitter.com/FJPCtC3DkQ
— maria, (@mariabarbbbb) April 21, 2020
Of all the ones and all the zeroes on all the networks in all the world, these ones had to waltz onto your phone. And a good thing, too. Almost feels like fate.
Who are the greatest Twitter personalities of all time, in your opinion?
Tell us what you think in the comments.