If you need some tweets, look no further! We’ve got a bunch of good ones right here. And they’re SPICY.

By spicy I mean fairly cynical and ironic because that’s just what my generation does but dang it, these tweets just taste so good you can’t resist ’em.

13. Take your pick!

The options are as innumerable as they are depressing.

12. That’ll do, pig

I mean technically this very much counts as something you can plan on doing.

11. Expand your palette

This is the definition of being seduced by the dark side.

10. The breakdown

The fact that she appears to be in pajamas makes this pretty much pitch perfect.

9. The sleep game

If only I could convince my brain to swap these two somehow.

8. Get me started

Really gotta carefully weigh those pros and cons.

7. I hear ya

Then what exactly is your product even FOR? RIDDLE ME THAT!

6. Gotta go fast

Amazing what the human brain can block out.

5. Cheesy jokes

This is absolutely true, actually.

4. Pointed questions

I think we also have booze in there somewhere but yes.

3. Surprise openings

And they are NOT gonna like what they see.

2. Crash into me

Well, you’ve just made my next drive unavoidably terrifying so thanks for that.

1. Shred it!

I’ll never understand what part of our evolution could possibly compel us to behave this way.

Now those are the kinds of tweets that have just the right amount of kick to ’em. Spicy and satisfying.

Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter?

Tell us in the comments.