Babysitting. It’s not for me, I can tell ya that much. I’ve tried it a few times but pretty much immediately got fed up with the kids, because – and I don’t know if you know this or not – but kids can kind of be the worst.

Especially the kids discussed in this Reddit thread:

Babysitters of reddit, what’s your demon child story? from AskReddit

Hold onto your blankie, it’s about to get weird.

1. Warning: animal violence in this story.

I used to baby sit the two boys of family while their parents Went out once every few weeks to get some alone time. I had looked after them before and they were usually well behaved and listened very well. This family had a few cats and they would climb in all sorts of odd places such as in the sinks, bookshelves, cupboards etc. Well this night I guess they had left the dryer door open and when one of the kids went downstairs to get his ball hockey gear I guess he closed the door on the cat and started the dryer.

I was already outside waiting at this point so I heard nothing about this until we came back inside and I noticed the dryer was on. I asked the kids why it was on and they said their mom was doing laundry. I knew for a fact that it was off when after the parents left so when I went to investigate I opened it to a completely burned and mangled cat that was essentially twisted like a pretzel. I told the parents what happened and that their kid was a psychopath and needs help now because he clearly is not right in the head.

Never babysat anyone’s kids ever again. The parents were in shock. They didn’t blame me or get mad. Just shocked that one of their kids murdered their cat like that. It still makes me uncomfortable to think about him.

– THEONLYoneMIGHTY

2. Don’t call me, maybe.

I had one main family I regularly babysat for after college and they recommended me to a friend of theirs who had two girls. Both families were well off, but very different.

Anyway, the second family’s two girls were beyond spoiled. I mean, TV reality show spoiled. The youngest, who was five, would blood curdle scream for a good 15 minutes running through this mansion house when it was time for bed. I always felt like an *sshole calling the mother but they didn’t pay me enough to put up with that bullsh*t. I’d have to set the girl up in the “special room” and rub her back while she fell asleep after she spoke to her mother.

I sat for them three times and avoided their calls after that.

– Adkgirl85

3. Not the kind of baked I wanna get.

Kid threw an easy bake oven at me and then tried to lock me in a closet.

– CertifiedCinephile

4. Smart move getting the money first.

I had a kid go to the bathroom, poop, run out with no pants (no wiping), grab my house key, and throw it in the poop.

While I fished it out, he sat on the couch rubbing his butt. I used every kind of soap on that key.

When his parents got back, I waited to get paid. Then I explained things pointing to the spot on the couch and left.

– Strip_Mall_Ninja

5. I’d fire myself.

I had a kid who climbed out his bedroom onto the roof of the house & started the house on fire.

The kid was a demon. He was 9 at the time.

– AverageJoe5555

6. This kid REALLY loved Pokemon.

Had a five year old pull out a pocketknife on me and demand I give him my Pokemon cards.

Also had a kid try to pry the kitchen window off because he wanted to see the kids I was watching that were inside.

– jlfon

7. Kids are the worst.

Stuck me with a needle to “see what I would do”

Made painted rocks together. When we set them out to dry they dropped mine in a bucket of water.

Had a massive meltdown (over 15 minutes on a street corner) when I walked the opposite direction they wanted to go around the block to get to the park. Ended up carrying two of them, one on my hip and the other over my shoulder while the eldest followed. I am not a large person.

Spoke rudely to me/about me in my second language that I had only just begun learning and refused to respond to english which they were fluent in.

Spat in my food while they thought I wasn’t looking.

God. Just so many things. Those kids were f*cking terrors.

– [deleted user]

8. This is what pica is, if you’re curious.

Friend babysat a kid with pica. Had to follow him around everywhere yelling NO DON’T EAT THAT. Kind of like having a new puppy.

Ended the night watching him chew on her flip flop while it was on her foot.

– bigbluenobody

9. So much violence in these stories.

Babysat two brothers. The younger proceeded to get into an argument with the older.

It quickly escalated into the younger grabbing a kitchen knife and threatening the older brother with it.

– Sweedish_Fid

10. Funny how many of these end with the same refrain.

I once watched two brothers while their parents went to the movies. The boys were around 5 and 6 and normally acted pretty nice, but shortly after their parents left things got really weird. They asked me to come up to their playroom then closed the door. They both started to play with some toys, but periodically they would turn around and start touching me inappropriately.

I kept telling them to stop and that it was inappropriate, but they just laughed and would continue. I finally ran downstairs and ignored them while they jumped on furniture and threw sh*t at me. Their parents finally came home and gave me 100 bucks for a three hour ordeal. They must know that their kids are evil little sh*ts. I found out later that they killed their pet hamsters by throwing them into their ceiling fan at high speed.

F*ck those kids.

– Cereyn

11. Um, I think you dodged a murder.

Once I babysat a kid who decided that all he wanted to do was lock me in the shed.

When I said, no, we would not be doing that, he burst into tears.

He kept sobbing and begging and hitting me for about a half hour.

– Affable_Nitwit

12. Remember to ask the right questions.

I didn’t really babysit much but the time I babysat my cousins.

One was a wee little one so she slept in her crib. The nine year old however wanted to eat ice cream his mother had put in the freezer but I didn’t know the little b*stard was lactose intolerant until he sh*t all in his pants and all over their couch.

That day, I learned why babysitters ask for the kids’ diets and allergies.

– jfsindel

13. Whateva, I do what I want.

I had a kid who was literally the embodiment of Cartman from South Park. He fried his pet rat and tried to eat it.

I wasn’t there when it happened but when his parents told me I made sure to never see that devil again.

– JyoungPNG

14. They found a loophole.

I babysat for a family where both brothers were deaf.

If I said something they didn’t want to hear (no more TV, bedtime, etc), they would take out their hearing aids and close their eyes shut. It’s hilarious now but as a 13 year old girl it was highly infuriating.

– TuckerWilliams

15. And from the other side of the coin…

Ok, I was the demon child in this one.

Had a joint holiday with our neighbour’s and they got a local babysitter for me and the friend’s daughter. We were as good as gold, went to bed, no problem. I think she woke me up to tell me the babysitter was asleep in a chair in front of the TV. We decide to tie her up and managed to do it with as many rolls of toilet paper as we could find, she was basically mummified.

As our parents opened the door, she woke up. All I know is that my parents were in hysterical laughter while this poor woman was in a panic trying to get free.

– jplevene

I think the moral of the story here is just never have kids. Let’s be done making new children. Deal? Deal.

What’s your worst kid-watching story?

Share it with us in the comments.

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