Love is…complicated. There’s no denying that.
And probably the best place for dissecting complicated issues is a microblogging site whose very format forbids nuance. I’m talking of course about Twitter. And while the insights you get there aren’t always the most helpful, they sure can be funny.
Enjoy these fifteen relationship tweets that will ring true to just about anybody.
15. Awash with love
No two people on the planet agree on the correct way to do this.
Writing a love poem called "Put the Dishes in the Dishwasher, but Not Like That."
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) January 15, 2017
14. The stakes are high
You’d better delete this quick if something happens to him.
My husband is on the roof – only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life.
— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) November 2, 2014
13. No ease with the cheese
I mean yeah. This is the sort of thing that rightfully destroys families.
Being in a long term relationship means getting into a fight while making quesadillas because there’s not enough cheese for the both of you
— Amanda (@AM_Rau) September 19, 2018
12. Buyer’s market
Calm down, nobody wants me.
thinking that people want to steal your boyfriend is a mental disorder. no one wants your boyfriend. have you had a boyfriend? exactly. no one wants it. calm down
— crissy (@crissymilazzo) March 1, 2019
11. I’m begging you please
Plot twist: Jolene was never even a threat.
MY MAN: (comes home)
ME: (nervous) how was the store
MY MAN: fine
ME: oh thank g —
MY MAN: ran into jolene
ME: oh no
MY MAN: she mentioned you left kind of an intense voicemail— Rob Dubbin (@robdubbin) July 28, 2019
10. Me and my baby
Tough in the streets, nap in the sheets.
This how I like to be treated when the homies arent around pic.twitter.com/2EH4of12k4
— Swift G (@gaijinz33) July 29, 2019
9. The silent treatment
No matter what ya do.
My boyfriend: (silent)
Me: I just feel like I annoy you and you’re gonna leave me
— juicy (@_thaarealjuiicy) January 15, 2019
8. I am the night
Wear the mask or it’s all for naught.
[phone w/ fiancé]
Hey, I can still pick whatever suit I like for the wedding right?
"As long as its black, why?"
*wearing batsuit* No reason— Thynebear (@Thynebear) July 12, 2015
7. Fry do
The greatest sacrifice you can make for a loved one.
Wedding vows, but it's just me letting you have one of my French fries.
— Amy K (@errdayhustlah) October 29, 2014
6. Coming clean
Married people are very very bad at making the case that I should ever get married, I gotta say.
Marriage is 50% your wife being upset that you don't do enough chores and 50% of her yelling at you for ruining her shirt by doing the laundry.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 14, 2019
5. Glasses have full
Nobody said there weren’t side benefits.
i married for love
but the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored
— Cameron Esposito (@cameronesposito) February 7, 2018
4. Drama alert
It’s the cold, hard truth.
my boyfriend: get your cold feet off of me
— maeg ✨ (@maegan_francis) December 17, 2018
3. Never forget
This is why I call 70% of the people I know “buddy.”
i asked my grandpa, “after 65 years u still call grandma darling, beautiful, and honey. what’s the secret?”
grandpa: “i forgot her name 5 years ago and i’m scared to ask her.”
— Saudara Rizal (@Abeyrius) February 20, 2018
2. A jarring response
This is the way you tighten your connection.
My grandfather told me that when my grandma gets mad at him he tightens the pickle jar lid so she’ll have to talk to him … I want that
— Crislyn Graham (@crislyn_graham) July 17, 2018
1. Give me a break
Did you crumb?
Husband got excited thinking I was touching myself under the covers but I was actually just opening a Kit Kat I didn't wanna share.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) December 30, 2015
If you’re in a love/hate relationships with your own love/hate relationship, at least you know the people of Twitter can commiserate.
What’s your biggest piece of relationship advice?
Tell us in the comments.
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