Life’s too short to spend it hanging out with people who aren’t your true friends. And it’s far too heartbreaking to realize that too late.

So listening to stories like the ones in this Reddit thread can help us know what to look out for.

When did you realize your “friends” were actually fake friends? from AskReddit

Get ready for some real bummers, y’all.

1. Poor Randy

Back in my first year of college, I used to have a group of friends (like 7 dudes with me included). We always hang out together and we’re used to have this “group chat” where we discuss about anything from class subjects to random things.

After a year, I noticed that one of the guys (let’s just call him Randy) keeps getting excluded; Not invited/informed to group hangout while they’re talking smack behind his back. And the “unofficial leader” of the group actually made a whole new group chat, inviting everyone (myself included) except Randy without his knowledge.

I know what it feels to be left out, I experienced that in Middle school and it’s really awful. I stopped hanging out with them and I starts hanging out with Randy. He’s quite eccentric but a very good person at heart. We’ve been friends for more than 6 years, and he still got my back

– SpectreAmazing

2. Giving up the ghost

They stopped inviting me to hang out. They would ask me to drive them to parties, but not invite me to go to the parties. They basically ghosted me for a while.

They were once such amazing and important friends, but they gradually became really arrogant. It took a way longer than it should have to give up and find other people.

– Death_By_Pun

3. Trivial pursuits

When I returned to work after being off for 3 months due to an injury and I practically begged them to go grab a beer and do pub trivia but all 3 of them passed because they had plans.

Well it turns out their plans were to go grab a beer and do pub trivia… Without me. Found out through social media. Deleted it shortly afterwards.

I’ve been a lot less depressed about things since I’ve deleted social media and stopped looking at them as friends and just as work acquaintances. It took that for me to realize that the “friendships” were really one sided and I’m better off not pursuing anything other than being cordial at work.

– iaminfamy

4. The truck guy

When I traded in my truck for a smaller more eco friendly vehicle.

Communication plummeted now that i can’t haul furniture around, assist with moving as much, dispose of garbage.. etc.

– mandox1

5. The party pooper

My so-called ‘friends’ invited me to a party, and then at the last moment, they texted the group that no one’s coming and the party is canceled.

Well.. they had the party that day. Everyone went there.

They just had decided they didn’t want me there cause I was boring and not a fun person, so they told me that there was no party happening.

It hurt a lot, it was a terrible day for me.

– thenextsherlock16

6. The mediator

I flew out to support a friend going through a messy divorce. While I was there, she left me in the apartment to meet up with her boyfriend that I didn’t know about.

He turned out to have just been released from prison for manslaughter. Once she told me that, I told her that I didn’t want to spend time with him, especially considering the circumstances of my visit.

The next night, I woke up in the middle of the night to find him in the living room. She said that she thought it wouldn’t matter since I was asleep.

The next day, she invited her soon-to-be ex-husband over without telling me and then asked me to meditate their conversation once he got there.

That conversation turned ugly fast, and she ended up storming out. He broke down and asked if I thought it was salvageable, and I told him that she had already moved on. Maybe not the best idea on my part, but at that point, she had shown me how vile of a person she is.

– bertholamew

7. Study buddies

One friend stopped replying to my texts right after we graduated from college.

Like the same week we graduated.

So… I was pretty much just a study buddy that they kept close to keep me helping them.

– ts1985

8. Birthday girl

The group made plans to meet and hang out. I was getting ready in the salon.

A couple of friends had to back out for some reason. The other friend then made excuses of his own, and I could tell. I tried cajoling him and offer ways for him to go but he basically decided to cancel the entire group meet up.

It was my birthday.


9. The enabler

Shortly realized after quitting cocaine that a majority of my “friends” only kept me around so they could feel better about their own cocaine habits.

I was heavily addicted and setting myself down a path I never once thought I could or would take. Stopped for my own benefit and health, and was treated like a selfish piece of s**t for doing so. The next months ensued and not one of them checked in to see how I was doing, but instead my high school best friend started sleeping with my ex highschool girlfriend (I was with her for 5 years and actually thought I was going to marry her at one point) who dumped me for doing cocaine and is now an honorary member of the group I was cast out of.

Replaced with the person who partially fueled my substance abuse, who dumped me for substance abuse, by the group that didn’t like me stopping my substance abuse, so they could all abuse substances together.

It’s now been over a year since I quit, and honestly couldn’t be happier. Got rid of a cocaine addiction and about 1000lbs of dead weight. But it was an eye opener to say the least.

– GrizzlyStudios

10. The guard

I was at a party, really depressed after a bad breakup and got drunk. My abusive ex showed up, caught me somewhere alone and hit me.

I begged several friends for help since I was too drunk to drive home alone and they ignored me. My ex best friend was there, completely sober and refused to drive home with me because she didn’t believe he would do that. There’s no Uber or anything in my country btw.

The whole thing escalated, one guy I didn’t know ended up finding me alone in a field crying and throwing up, brought me back to the house, build a bed out of blankets for me and sat guard all night to make sure my ex wouldn’t do anything again.

– More_Example6153

11. The exclusion zone

They would invite each other to places in front of me and not include me in the slightest.

When I ditched them they didn’t know how to take it, lol.

– KarmaticFox

12. Mean girls

When they abandoned me when I was going through a rough time. When I spent years listening and supporting them. When I have my first true moment where I am not coping and need support, they are nowhere to be seen and b**ching behind my back.

This is when I realised my high school friends never had grown up past high school.

Luckily I had other friends. Just not a large girl group like that. But I can actually say that every friend I have I know they have my back and won’t judge me if I am not always happy.

And the same for me. I have always had very high expectations of myself as a friend and I feel that everyone I call a friend is someone that brings something special to my life.

That is worth more than having a huge group of b**chy girlfriends who turn on each other when they are out of the room. It took me a long time to realize it though.

– LizFrance

13. Save the date

My best friend of ten years called on my wedding day to say she couldn’t make it because she was just so sad about her recent divorce.

Turns out, she just had a date. Our whole friendship was fake, it just took me to that point to realize it.

– pudgywombat

14. The bully

When I realized literally just being in the same room as that person made me miserable. It’s because the person was extremely self conscious, to the point that they would overcompensate by “putting others down” every little chance they had, to make themselves feel above. I kept wondering why they would keep throwing me under the bus for no reason? Like we had been friends for years, why would they treat me like this?

It took me years to figure out exactly how bad of a friend they were, no matter how hard they pretend not to be.

It took me an entire year of ghosting to stop being friends with that person, because they loved putting me down so much they wouldn’t stop calling me, texting me, trying to contact me for a year with no responses because they could not understand how someone could possibly want to stop hanging out with them because they are so perfect!

– Snowfreak2507

15. Know the difference

For anyone who’s quite young reading this (or just leaving college) don’t confuse “fake friends” for people becoming adults.

It’s extremely normal for adults to ‘lose touch’ with older, close friends due to life circumstances – children, distance, work etc. That doesn’t mean they’re ‘fake’ friends it just means they have higher priorities than hanging out / chatting than they used to. You’ll often find those “fake friends” are happy to see you when either they or you make it easy/convenient.

That may be frustrating but it’s a normal part of growing up & likely something you’ll do too.

– Xianio

Here’s to true friends, new and old.

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