Webster’s Dictionary defines Florida as “Some sort of hot swamp full of tigers, maybe.”
The definition can’t go into much more detail than that because to date, nobody who has entered Florida has ever escaped to tell the tale.
Looking at these headlines, though, we might just get a bit of a glimpse inside…
15. Get a leg up
And it would’ve gotten away from him too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids.
14. The fruitcake
Why are you laughing? WHAT DO YOU KNOW THAT WE DON’T?
13. The most important meal
She crawled so that future Karens could run.
12. Hole in one
Whatever it takes to keep that score low.
11. Going up?
“Can you please open up, I’m very late.” – alligator, probably
10. Beneath the mask
Yeah, you should join, we have these ceremonies where we just sorta keep our distance and we worship the concept of not dying a preventable death.
9. Mist me
He a little confused but he got the spirit.
8. Something squirrelly
Genuinely, it’s my job to write funny little remarks about these things, but what could I possibly add to this masterpiece?
7. You kid
I don’t think I’d like to know any more about this.
6. Spray it out loud
Yeah, not super sure that’s how viruses work.
5. Sign of the times
You know you can just like…easily lift those out of the ground right?
4. Polly want a cracker
I will be reading this article in full later, thank you very much.
3. Whatcha gonna do?
He played the ol’ reverse card on ’em. Now it is THEY who are the bad boys.
2. Full contact
Well, you get what you pay for, I guess.
1. Thou shalt not steal
This sounds way more exciting than the church I grew up in.
If you’re feeling adventurous, maybe give Florida a chance. Later. For…obvious reasons.
What’s the strangest thing about where you live?
Tell us in the comments.