I’m not the kind of person who can afford something from Peloton. I’m not sure I can afford to even look at the website, to be honest with ya’ll.

I’ve got it open now and I’m seeing that their base model bike is (on sale??) for $1,895. That’s more than I paid for my new PC this year, and this thing is literally my livelihood.

And that’s just the basic stuff. Other equipment apparently goes for over $4k, and then there’s class memberships, a monthly app payments, accessories, clothes…

Who knew going for a run was so expensive? Twitter did, apparently.

15. Cry and fly

Wait, that’s an option?

14. Couch potato

Sometimes that’s just how it go.

13. Self care

Are you telling me to throw this thing out?

12. The queen

I don’t care how much you croon, I shall resist your siren song of expensive fitness!

11. Spin me right ’round

I certainly look just as lost and confused as the hamster does when I’m on one.

10. Parasocial relationships

Hey, it’s better than nothing, I guess. Times are weird, take what you can get.

9. Revealing clips

That’s how they hook you in.

8. The price of success

The narratives we create in our heads are generally far more compelling than the real thing.

7. Uphill battles

Keep on fighting the good fight.

6. One of us!

Nah, most cults are way more affordable at first.

5. Status symbols

Holy crap, I forgot about this trope but you are absolutely right.

4. Making the list

You know you’re not gonna keep that resolution, who are you foolin’?

3. Feel the music!

How in the crap can you possibly bike that many hours a day?

2. Feel the shine


1. Absolutely tanked

I don’t know, I’m out of breath just watching ya’ll.

Well, imagining even having that much money has been enough of a workout for me, I’m done.

Do you have a Peloton? Would you get one if you could?

Tell us in the comments.