I don’t want to shock you or anything, but I’m here to let you know that Twitter is full of funny people. There are like fifty solid jokes per second on that website, it’s way too much to keep up with.

I don’t eat, I don’t sleep, I just scroll and laugh and scroll and laugh. My family misses me, and they’re right in the other room. I may not survive much longer, but it will have all been worth it, just to bring you these funny tweets.

Please enjoy these fifteen offerings.

Please. It is my dying wish.

15. Cut, print

We have phone cameras and a billion different ways to send documents digitally, instantly, for free, why are we even still bothering with this?

14. Breathe and stretch

It’s a sign from the universe that you really need to stop.

13. Teenage dream

Why, she’s practically a baby.

12. Cancel culture

We all know this tactic.

11. By the letter

Wait, why is this true?

10. Down on the ranch

This is normal practice for us in the Midwest.

9. ????????

What sound does this make?

8. Plump lips

Get this woman a Pulitzer, stat.

7. Freaks and geeks

Hey, you’re not wrong.

6. Hair today, gone tomorrow

Seems like way more work for them, but fair is fair.

5. Supa hot fire

Well, at least we all know now.

4. Help a guy out

You gotta be a little more blunt with this one, obviously.

3. Unless?

Looks like they’re gettin’ pretty frisky.

2. Stealth mode activated

Guess they put it in a prime location.

1. Guess who?

I am completely against the cutout thing. So creepy.

If you’ve survived this long, congratulations. You’ve got much laughter to come.

Who are your favorite funny people on Twitter?

Tell us in the comments.