The weirdest thing about living through this phase of capitalism is looking around at the ways that some people get rich and thinking “Wait, how is that even even a thing?”
It makes nearly any money scheme seem possible, even absurd ones like this:
So, what would the people of Reddit do in this scenario? Let’s find out.
1. At random.
Start asking out random women.
I either get a date, a hundred bucks, a hundred bucks sometime after our first date, or, uh a wife, I guess.
2. Make a change!
I can’t wait to volunteer to do cold calling for every political campaign around.
3. You bet.
Scratch off tickets… Its a win… win
4. You hungry?
Make restaurant suggestions to my wife.
5. Here’s the terrible plan.
Make a terrible, fake resume and apply to as many jobs as possible, like every single one on LinkedIn. No one will reach out for an interview, hence rejection.
I wouldn’t have to have a real job because I would be applying for and promptly rejected for at least 2 or 3 jobs an hour. Once I get a good system down, I could probably do way more than that.
$250/hour, 32 hours/week, 48 weeks/year (I’m giving myself a three day weekend and 4 weeks vacation.) would be a salary of $384,000. And throughout daily life, I’d make even more as people turn me down for other, more petty things (do you want to hang out?, did you like that movie?, can you pick that up for me?, etc.).
6. The write stuff.
Submit my novel to agents and publishers.
Ask a stripper for a free lap dance. When I win I win. When I lose I win.
8. Good hustle.
Try out for sports teams!
I’m 5 foot 160 pounds and 70% boobs I’d love to see any sports want me.
9. They’ll say no.
Ask a bunch of strangers out.
They won’t date a random stranger on the street.
10. To infinity.
I’m applying to become the next astronaut everyday.
Maybe I’ll add something to my resume. Like: chill vibes, surfer, can’t and won’t handle stress.
I’ll think I make some bucks
Ask people if they think Paper Mario Sticker Star was a good game
I’d apply for jobs I’m clearly unqualified for, like for president etc…
13. It’s broken.
Go to McDonalds, ask for ice cream.
14. Would you like to-
Try to sign people up for my company’s credit card.
The one time I counted, I got 80 no’s (that’s just no. Doesn’t count all the other rejection responses like “F*CK no!” during my shift.
15. Just gimme.
I’m so confused by this question.
But can I get $100?
I agree with that last guy. The rest seems like too much awkward work.
But what would your approach be?
Tell us in the comments.