With all the lies we’re constantly surrounded by, it can feel frustrating that we can’t glean SOME kind of good out of them.
But what if we could…
How might the denizens of Reddit capitalize on such a universe? Let’s find out.
1. Start a business.
Contract myself out as a foolproof lie detector.
2. Get both sides.
Ask my mum and dad individually about how their divorce went down
3. Pretty please?
Gather all your relatives and ask “I am beautiful, right?”.
– [user deleted]
Give you email address and phone number out at every available opportunity and let the scams roll in
5. Be a vet.
I’m a veterinarian.
They’re not giving the pills to the dog like I told you to, the check is not in the mail, you’re not cutting out his treats, and you’re not exercising them enough.
Seriously, I’d make a fortune.
6. Shop around.
Attend one political rally after the other.
And if votes are not in season, go shopping for used cars or looking for houses.
7. Doing the math.
I can say “1+1=3” in .72 seconds (yes, I did time myself). If I make a full minute of that, that’s 83 (.33) lies per minute. At x10 speed that’s 830 lies per minute. If I play this track over itself such that they never line up perfectly, then I can get a lie to start at each of the smallest increments the editing software can handle. So if it can handle .01 at the smallest, then you get 83×72 (5976) recordings in one track. Played at x10 speed, lol, you get 59,760 lies per minute for $5,976,000 per minute.
If you take that track and auto tune it to every possible frequency that can be assigned by the software you use (let’s pretend it’s 1000) then you can be lied to at every frequency in every split second at x10 speed. For 59,760,000 lies per minute. This makes a whopping 5,976,000,000 per minute. Suck a dick, Bezos.
Will this sound like garbage? Ya, totally. But if I quietly dub this over whatever songs are in my music playlists then I can listen to music while I get lied to. Hell, the music might even have some lies in it. Cardi can’t have a WAP 24/7, right? According to Ben that’s not healthy.
8. Ho ho ho!
Talk about your suspicions of Santa’s validity, in a large crowd, while holding a 5y on your lap.
– [user deleted]
9. Spare some change.
Beg on a busy street.
“I’m hungry, do you have some change?”
10. Your own terms.
Make a website where someone has to check a box stating they’ve read and agree to the terms and conditions
11. What an opportunity!
Go to an MLM convention.
Those hun bots will get you rich quicker than they claim LuLaRoe will!
12. Be precise.
Ask them everyone how old they are.
They could say 26, but in reality they are actually 26 years, 3 months, 12 days, 8 hours, 2 minutes and 22 seconds.
13. Farm it out.
giving 10$ to every person that lies to you.
14. Work in tech.
I mean, I work at a tech company and we get lies all the time.
I’m pretty sure half of the people could just go to work and make an easy thousand dollars
15. Not OK.
Just go around saying “Hi, how are you?”
Of course, the definition of “lie” might challenge some of these. Does it have to be something simply untrue, or something the speaker KNOWS to be untrue? Does anything involving an opinion count or does it have to be objective?
There are many things to consider.
Keep the conversation going in the comments.