I’m over 30 years old and it was just a couple of weeks ago that I realized the band “The Beatles” spelled their name with an ‘a’ instead of an ‘e,’ because they weren’t just calling themselves a random animal name, they were making a pun.
The BEATles. They have a beat. Because they’re a rock ‘n’ roll band.
At least I’m not alone in being way too late to the party.
Here are some other examples.
1. A really sad one
“I didn’t know that dusters were used for cleaning dust off furniture until I was in middle school.
When I misbehaved, my mother would beat me with a duster so I assumed its only purpose was to be a beating stick.
I figured the fuzzy part of it was to provide comfort for my mother’s hand as she hit me.”
2. “Man, I wish Sarah would knock me up…”
“Until I was 17 I thought ‘getting knocked up’ just meant having sex.
As a guy, this was an awkward thing to wish upon myself..’Man, I wish Sarah would knock me up…like really good’.”
“My ex wife did not know helicopters could hover until around age 23.
She saw a copter over a scene in San Diego and asked me, ‘How is that helicopter just floating in one spot??’
I was like, ‘Wut?'”
4. “And then it hit me.”
“When I was a young boy I had a black football coach (I’m white).
I asked him, ‘hey coach, do black people get hotter in the sun than white people?’
And he responded, ‘Well I dunno. I’ve never been white.’
And then it hit me. ‘Ohhhhhh'”
5. One is never enough
“I was 23 when it came to my attention that an engagement ring and a wedding band are two separate things.
Isn’t one expensive symbol of uniformity enough?!”
6. This person must have thought sunflower seeds were horrible
“I didn’t realize you were supposed to chew sunflower seeds to get the seed inside…
I thought you just ate the black seeds whole…”
– [User Deleted]
7. This is a thing people believe?!
“Putting boner pills in your car’s gas tank will not stiffen the suspension and increase torque.”
8. Our lady of generosity
“I thought the term ‘prima donna’ was ‘pre-Madonna.’ I always wondered what happened before her that would demand a new term.
A friend also asked me why Ellen was named Ellen ‘The Generous.’
He said, ‘I get that she is generous, but she isn’t that noteworthy. It’s not like she’s Alexander the Great or something.'”
9. I thought it was in New York, too, but not quite that long.
“I’m 21. Until about a month ago I didn’t know that when people talked about New England that they were talking about the Northeastern U.S.
I thought the New England Patriots were from a city in New York.
I know that New Mexico is a state and not in Mexico.”
10. That’s no moon… Oh wait…
“A co-worker was helping me move something outdoors and he suddenly is staring at the sky bewildered.
I asked if he was OK and, I sh*t you not, he says, ‘Whoa! I can see the moon….and it’s day.’
He’s 24 and I had no idea how to respond to that.”
11. What about the significant other?
“Difference between foreshadowing and foreplay.
Grandmother was amused, Mom was mortified.”
12. Harvey ‘Toothpaste’ Dent
“I was a few months away from turning 17, and The Dark Knight was coming out. I checked IMDB to see what actors and characters would be in it, and that’s when I learned that Harvey Dent’s evil nickname is ‘Two-Face,’ not ‘Toothpaste’ as I had always thought.
I never saw the name written down. In the animated series half his face was white, and the other half was blue, and I just never really questioned it.”
– [User Deleted]
13. Yes, Virginia…
“One time in 7th grade science, my class was having a discussion about volcanoes and then out of nowhere, a kid in the back yelled in the most surprised voice ever, ‘Wait! Volcanoes are real?!'”
14. Don’t shake that baby
“The Beatles’ song Twist and Shout goes:
Well, shake it up, baby, now (Shake it up, baby)
We’re shakin’ a baby now (Shakin’ a baby).”
“1) I just learned that a wheel barrel is actually a wheelbarrow….what?
2) The ‘right of way’ when driving…I thought it was called the ‘right away,’ because if you have it, you get to go right away.”
16. The “Queefmaster”
“I thought ‘queef’ meant a really loud, prolonged butt fart.
I gave myself the moniker ‘Queefmaster,’ because I can fart on command.
No wonder my friends’ parents thought I was a weird kid.”
17. Travel the alphabet
“Until January of 2014 (when I was 28), I thought that the seven seas were the seven “Cs”, meaning the seven continents.”
– [User Deleted]
18. Where are all the big Coopers?
“At age 17: finally learned that a Mini Cooper is manufactured by the make Mini, and the line of cars is Coopers.
Until this, I always thought that Mini Coopers were miniature “Coopers”, and always wondered why I never saw regular full-sized Coopers.
I figured that the minis were just exceedingly more popular for some reason.”
– [User Deleted]
19. “His arm is almost complete.”
“I thought that when people lose a body part, their organism could regenerate the missing part until I was 13+.
If I saw someone with a half of an arm missing I thought, ‘Good sh*t! His arm is almost complete…'”
20. “It sounded funny.”
“Did you know spleens actually exist?
I swear, until I was 22 I just thought it was a word someone made up, because it sounded funny and visceral.”
Guess you learn something new every day.
Do you have a story like this?
Tell us in the comments.