If you’re a fan of The Adventure Zone podcast (and really, who isn’t?) then you’re probably familiar with their grand adventure season centering around a college specifically for heroes and villains.
It’s a great idea, and maybe it’s what inspired this particular poster on Reddit to ask the following question:
You are now a professor at Supervillain University. What course do you teach? from AskReddit
Class is in session. Here are a few topics that might be worth covering.
1. Apologetics
Mental Gymnastics: How to believe you’re actually the good guy.
– rawbface
2. Escape
How to Capture the Hero and Then Strategically Let Them Go With Them Thinking They Escaped But You Not Being In Any Danger At All Since The Hero’s Gotta Make A Living And So Do You
And
Henchpeople Loyalty: a class for beginners.
– fluffybear45
3. Design
Logo Designs for Fear and Recognition 201
Prerequisite is Choosing Your Companion Animal AKA Do I Have Allergies? 100
– HissyFit808
4. Efficiency
“Just Kill Him Already: Time Management for Super Villains.”
– Maxwyfe
5. Ethics
Ethics in Henchman Hiring and Work Conditions.
– DisillusionedDuck217
6. Insults
Sarcastic Put-Downs For Your Sworn Enemies
– LucyVialli
7. Engineering
Designing Your Dastardly Devices 301.
The prerequisites are Pernicious Physics 101 and Malicious Machinery 201.
– shongi_x
8. Construction
Evil lair building workshop
– stue0064
9. Badness
Ethics and Supervillainy: Why you don’t have to be a bad guy to be a bad guy
– NotAnotherBookworm
10. Staying power
How to make yourself important enough to appear in more than one episode/movie
– FishReel1082
11. Loki crap
Mischeif: how to be evil but fun at the same time.
– cringe_dispenser
12. Case studies
“Doctor Girlfriend and The Monarch: A Case Study in Co-Dependency”
– Devonai
13. Dialects
“German and Russian accents.”
– PolyhumanoidDisaster
14. Psychology
“Psychology 101: We’re not so different, you and I.”
– PolyhumanoidDisaster
15. Aiming
How to aim a firearm 101, it’s a mandatory class in stormtrooper majors and an acceptable class for most others as well.
– Joeydoyle66
16. Physics
Anti-Nuclear activism.
You can destroy the planet while claiming to save it!
What could be more evil?
– DeltaXDeltaP
17. Genres
Genre awareness 101.
– Dubanx
18. Destruction
How to angrily, and efficiently, break everything in the room.
– HeartIsaHeavyBurden
19. Captures
The Art of Intentionally Getting Captured As Part of Your Plan
Bane did it once, Joker did it twice in the same movie, Loki probably does this every Tuesday, and the villain of SkyFall was so crazy-prepared for his escape that he had a ridiculously specific Plan B in case of a chase that he didn’t even know was going to happen
– AdvocateSaint
20. Pro-activeness
“Efficiency of world domination by killing the hero without hesitation”
– Preparation_Asleep
21. Emotional intelligence
Internalizing anger and blame shifting.
– DirtySingh
22. Are we the baddies?
“How to tell if you’re the bad guy class” In most cases, the “bad guys” usually don’t know they are the “bad guys”.
They feel as if they are doing the right thing and the “good guys” are trying to stop them from doing what’s right.
So my class would help them realize who they are and prevent some evil plans.
I could do more in that class than any superhero could do leveling a city in a fight.
– Fart_McT**s
23. Likability
Introduction to Making Yourself More Likable Than Your Adversaries
– Enhanced__Human
24. Reverse-Potter stuff
Defense against defense against the dark arts
– ayzah
25. Henching
HR Management – where the H stands for Henchmen
– TorontoGiraffe
26. Buraucracy
The bureaucracy of evil: intro to office work
– CowboyFleeborg
27. Entrapment
Sleeper Agents and Honeypots: get them off, then bump them off
– CowboyFleeborg
28. Queercoding
Queercoding 101: Just Flamboyant Enough to Get The Point Across
Guest lecturers include Scar, Hades, Ursula, and extra special guest, HIM from the Powerpuff Girls
– reign-storm
29. Vetting
How to properly vet associates so that no one double crosses them
– gbrown2398
30. Diversions
Deadly Diversions 201: An exploration of defensive and offensive red herrings to delay and lure your rivals.
– kreankorm
I can feel my fingers steepling with evil already.
What class would YOU teach?
Tell us in the comments.