Even people who love their jobs, who know they’ve found the right field, have bad days at work.

Days that make them wish they were anywhere else, or that they’d gone into another field entirely, because no matter what your job description, there are gonna be tough cases.

That goes for officers, too, but you might not realize what sort of incidents make them wish they were on vacation – but lucky for us, these 42 officers are sharing their own worst moments with us below!

42. Nope. Don’t like that.

I usually don’t work on a night shift, but when I had to, of course I’m the one dealing with some creepy things. Some old lady reported that ‘weird noises’ can be heard from her neighbor’s house and she sounded desperate so we went there with my colleague.

We showed up and it was completely silent on the street. The old lady met us on the street in her dressing-gown and she told us that she heard screamings coming from her next door neighbor’s house. It was weird, because she didn’t mention any “screamings” in the call – in other way, we would be there much faster.

So we’re knocking, knocking… no one answers. My colleague consulted the case with our supervisor and he allowed us to go in, he also sent the reinforcements. OK, so we force the doors and go in. It’s dark and quiet. We were searching the house only with our flashlights and we found nothing.

We go to the floor and searching room by room. No one. The house is empty. My colleague is calling supervisor again… and suddenly I hear him screaming like a little girl. He jumped back to me with true fear in his eyes. His hand went for his w**pon and then I saw it too…

The old lady was in the home and she started charging at us with evil grin and making some scary hissing noises. My colleague was ready to take her down, but fortunately the fear paralyzed him. The old lady got to us, screaming and beating us… but she was so weak that we barely felt anything.

Turned out that she suffered from schizophrenia. I have no idea how it was possible that she was diagnosed so late, but good thing that it happened – we checked her house next and she was living in terrible conditions, even if the house was nice from the outside.

The owners of the house weren’t really pleased after they heard what happened.

41. Do we think this is real?

I stopped a car for speeding one sunny afternoon on a major 4-lane divided highway that had 3 teenaged young ladies in the front seat who were coming from a local swimming pool and were in the briefest bikinis. They were beautiful young ladies by any scale possible. I explained the purpose of the stop, after I had obtained the driver’s driver license and car registration and returned to my cruiser to issue a ticket.

As always, while writing the ticket I held it high on the steering wheel so I could also carefully observe the occupants of the stopped vehicle and noticed the driver and center passenger doing something involving the driver.

When I had completed the ticket and had returned to the stopped vehicle’s door, I began to explain the cost of the ticket, the points that would be assessed to the driver’s driving record and the right to appear for trial in court to contest the ticket. Because of my observation, I was a bit more alert than normal as I was doing this and prepared for any possibility.

I was in mid sentence of my explanation when the driver sort of moved her upper body and both tops of her bikini fell down complete exposing her entire chest area. She could have been a Playboy centerfold!

But without changing the cadence of my sentence, voice volume, tone of voice or any change in my facial expression and body language I said, “This ticket may be paid by check mailed to the address indicated here (pointing to it), and young lady your bikini top has fallen and you might wish to fix it, and the ticket cost $30 and is a one-point violation.”

I continued on with my “spiel” as she quickly “fixed” her apparel failure while her face, and those of her friends, became so red with embarrassment they would have been used as the red light on the front of a fire engine en route to a fire! The ticket was paid!

For a couple of years afterward, as this young lady matured, each time she saw me, off duty or on duty, she would blush and quickly turn away. She was married and had two beautiful daughters. I was in a local grocery store when I heard an, “Excuse me Mr. Wright” and turned to find her standing there with her 2 young daughters. She introduced them to me explaining that officers were their friends. It was one of those moments that are golden in the memories of old officers after retirement!

I will admit that at the moment it occurred, it took all my years of Marine-instilled self control not to react to the apparel malfunction!

40. There’s no way out.

“Not an officer but defense attorney.

Driving while license revoked tickets are an absolute racket in North Carolina and savvy officers have realized they don’t care to enforce it.

Basically what happens is a lower income person gets a traffic ticket for speeding or whatever. The judge will give them up to thirty days to pay the ticket after the court date. However, because the fines are generally $213 to $263, a lot of lower income people cannot afford to pay the ticket. So, once the time to pay expires, the DMV revokes their license. Then, someone will get pulled over for having a revoked license.

At this point, they still have the reason for the revocation outstanding, they have a new (more serious) ticket, and they have to pay reinstatement fees with the DMV to get their license back (assuming they are able to clear up the reason for the revocation). Oh yeah, if you plead guilty to Driving While License Revoked, your license will be suspended automatically for one year for your first offense or even longer if its not your first offense.

Generally, people will not come to me (defense attorney) until they are already charged with Driving While License Revoked because that is when they realize how screwed they are.

The good news is, I have talked to some officers about these driving while license revoked tickets who don’t care about the offense – they just want to see the client get their license back. So, they will either tell the DA they don’t want it prosecuted or just get it set on a court date when the officer won’t be there so I can get it dismissed.

It is all about the money. Total f**king racket.”

39. When your cat IS trying to off you.

Worked in Harlem 8 years (have since moved over to Jamaica, Queens…) but I was driving my Sgt that night and we were at the corner of 145 & 8th Ave. There’s a Popeyes in that corner but above it is 5 stories of apartments.

We’re stopped at the light heading westbound and all the sudden we start hearing a loud screaming coming from one of the windows above Popeyes. It was the summer and our windows were open so my Sergeant looks up and says, “Holy moley” so I immediately leaned down and look out the windshield and see a white lady in her 40s hanging out the window screaming at the top of her lungs. She’s covered in blood her hair is a mess and she’s screaming for help.

I quickly pull the car over and ask for an additional while we go up the stairs to the apartment. When we exit out of the stairwell there’s smeared blood all over the walls leading into the apartment, which has its door cracked open. We head in slowly, pieces drawn, and we see a man step out from the bathroom who doesn’t have a single scratch on him. We scream at him to get on the ground and quickly cuff him up while the screaming continues in the back room.

As we get him up off the floor our additional shows up and we quickly pass him off to them and head to the back of the apartment, g*ns still drawn towards the screams. As we round the corner into the living room we see a woman in a torn undershirt covered in blood and scratches and she has a cat on her back and she’s whipping her body around trying to get it off her.

She slams herself into the wall and the cat finally lets go and falls to the ground. It looks at us and heads back towards the lady when all of a sudden she kicks it like a football (and I mean like Sebastian Janikowski type kick) and it flies through the air and almost hit the ceiling as it bounced off the wall and scurried behind couch.

I asked her what is going on and if her boyfriend did this to her and she screams at us, “NO THIS CAT IS TRYING TO OFF ME!!!” Needless to say, we quickly get the guy out of cuffs and have to call ESU to come catch this psychotic cat.

That’s one that will stay with me til retirement…

38. What a mess.

We had a noise complaint coming from a small community saying there was a party out in one of the arroyos down this long private drive. Like 3 or 4 calls saying there was a huge bonfire and music.

Three of us are on shift and start cruising out there. It’s like 10 miles away, so we’re driving fast but not running code. About four miles out we hear the ambulance get dispatched for g*nfire call in the same area and thy are told to stage for Law Enforcement. We always get the med calls a few minutes after Central so we keep cruising.

The call from our Dispatch catches up a couple minutes later telling us to expedite as the noises are coming from the same area we’re headed to.

We run code, get there, and see about 15 cars coming down the private drive. People start jumping out of passenger seats and back seats and running into the night. We squeeze by the line of cars. We pull up to the bonfire and get down with our rifles.

One guy is laying on the ground shot, his girl is screaming and laying over him. There’s still about 15 more abandoned cars and people are running everywhere. The guy ended up getting hit above is right nipple with a 9mm.

He survived but wouldn’t tell us who did it He and his girl both stated they didn’t know anyone at the party even though it was four miles off the main road.

37. Why is that even a thing?

“My friend is an officer in an area with real gang violence and other issues.

Chief got up for the daily briefing and told them they needed to prioritize reducing “recycling theft” which was homeless people digging through recycle bins to get CRV items.”

36. A screeching halt.

Loud music complaint at this residence around 2000 hours on a weekday, which is odd, both because of the day and time. The city ordinance states that loud music is not allowed after 2200 hours on any day but any time it causes a “breach of the peace”, we have to respond because a citizen calling to complain is technically a “breach of the peace.”

We arrive (two of us) and walk up to the house. We can hear what sounds like a karaoke party going on in there. This guy is like shouting and carrying on (very poorly) to some hillbilly rock. We knock for a long time without a response. We can’t tell if the singing is live or not. Your mind starts racing.

Now we’re wondering if it isn’t loud music being played to conceal some other type of disturbance. After about five more minutes of knocking, we’re now surrounding the house, knocking on windows, shining flashlights etc. The music comes to a screeching. We announce ourselves.

The door creaks open and it’s like this lovable loser, 60-something-ish year old man with thick glasses and white hair holding a microphone. We ask him what’s going on and tell him someone complained. He tells us he was “practicing” because he has a performance coming up and he’s completely alone. He then adds, “I do this every night!”

We told him to practice a little more quietly.

35. All about the money.

“When I was a parking officer, there was an internal policy about not ticketing cars parked in this very wealthy neighborhood even if it was clearly an unsafe violation. They would park their trailers or small boats very close to intersections and that made it dangerous to navigate around there.

Because there were too many “big wigs”, we could have risked our jobs if we ticketed someone there so they decided to not have the parking officers enforce it.

1: My superiors expressed distaste for this policy when telling us about this, so they felt no pleasure this rule. This has more to do with certain elected officials than the popo in this case.

2: I know a lot of people want me to leak this, but I have no substantial evidence to leak something so “off the books” for a local news source. We were only told this verbally once. Plus confidentiality would be a concern due to the small amount of people that are hired for this job and could likely be easily guessed on via process of elimination.”

34. Two kinds of stories.

We once got a noise complaint about loud noise from the upstairs apartment. It was about 3am and caller told dispatch it sounded like the upstairs neighbor was moving furniture and dropping stuff. Fair enough. 3am is no time to be moving furniture and disturbing neighbors.

I get there, get to hallway where the apartment is and immediately hear arguing and screaming. Call for another unit. Proceed down the hallway, and find the apartment door almost completely shattered in the frame. I yell, “Officer, Coming In,” and go inside, since this seems like someone is in danger.

Sure enough I get in there, girl’s face is completely beaten in, the apartment is in complete disarray. Woman said, she fell and that is why her face was injured. Says they just moved in, which explains the mess. Says her husband is out of town on business (he had actually gone out the fire escape when I yelled out.)

We took her statement, and still wound up charging the guy with Domestic Violence. Case got dismissed when the wife came to court and continued her, I fell down and the floor punched me in the face 30 times story.

33. So many laws on the books just there to ensnare people.

“When I was an officer I hated marijuana laws. I would just tell the person to dump it on the ground when I found it. I did the same when I’d find underage kids with booze; dump it out and be on your way.

Aside from that I pretty much never wrote tickets for equipment violations such as a headlight out, etc. I would just politely let the person know they needed to fix it.

Lastly, I would rarely write tickets for expired registration, especially when the person was clearly struggling financially. I couldn’t sleep at night knowing I had basically punished someone who’s only “offense” was being poor.”

32. Fun on the 4th of July?

We kept getting fireworks complaints from this one lady on 4th of July, so we finally went over and talked to her. She made some good points about fireworks are not allowed, and they are shooting them off over her house. We tried making the point it’s the 4th of July if we responded to every fireworks complaint we couldn’t respond to any thing else but would go talk to the neighbors.

Went over and said, “Hey, look, just be a good a neighbor, cut it out, I don’t want to write fireworks tickets, but if this continues to be a problem we will.” Left feeling like we were all on the same page.

As I was walking back to my squad car when the idiots come running around the other side of their house and start firing roman candles at me, and others decided to set some other fireworks off underneath my squad car.

That is one way to go from getting a verbal warning to multiple felonies. Which wound up not even getting indicted because the prosecutor didn’t think it was that big of a deal, and they were just having fun on the 4th of July.

31. What even is the point?

“Ar**sting homeless people.

We usually just bring them in but forget to file paperwork on them, so they get a warm bed, a breakfast, and no record.”

30. How times have changed.

Because the times have changed so much, this answer might get a few negative comments, but things were dramatically different in Chicago nearly 50 years ago.

Please keep the following in mind when you read the answer. Ar**sts for driving after drinking were simply a waste of time for officers. Traffic court was completely corrupt. Cases and their paperwork would “disappear”, while the judges and lawyers got rich.

It took up to two hours for the “breathalyzer” officer to come to the station and give the test after the ar**st. Not only did this keep us in the station instead of doing our job, but after two hours, the offender was often technically sober. 1.0 was the limit back then.

With this in mind, I stopped a speeder, but when I approached the driver, she lowered her window and proceeded to puke all over the side of her car AND herself. (She’d obviously eaten a lot.) That single act got her out of a ticket.

There was no way I was going to get vomit all over me by ar**sting her. She had a passenger to help her, so I pretended to suddenly get a “hot call”, hopped back in my squad car, turned on the lights and siren and hightailed out of there.

29. That’s a lot of angry people.

“Back in my LEO career days, I was always very uncomfortable with using dogs to search for drugs.

Yeah, they really can sniff out drugs…but the false positive accuracy is so far out of whack with what SHOULD be a standard for reasonable suspicion that it’s little better than guessing.

If a dog hits on 100 cars, and 50% of them have no drugs in them…you just violated the civil rights of 50 people based on what a dog said.

Dogs aren’t people, you can’t interview or cross examine them in court.”

28. What a tattletale.

I ran a VASCAR on the force. It is a cheap way to check someone’s speed without using radar or lasers which, in the late ’70s, we did not have. This was in Guam, and there were not many places where one could really cut loose and go fast.

Late one afternoon, I clocked a convertible going 75 in a 50 zone and gave chase. They stopped quickly. I could see four young boys in the car and they were doing a lot of moving around and talking to each other as I approached. I noticed that they all were very young — probably high school students out for a joy ride in their parents’ car — perhaps without their permission.

I’d estimate them to be about 16 or 17, but they were acting pretty silly and making lots of comments to each other. I noticed it had a military base ID sticker on the windshield so I figured these were the dependents of military parents.

I asked the driver for his papers. Faster than I could react, he pulled a w**pon out from between his legs and pointed it upward under his chin. He announced he could not get a ticket and if I gave him one, he would off himself. I started to draw my pistol but stopped before I got it out of the holster.

At this point, I was standing within 18 inches from the driver just off his left shoulder. It was a bright sunny day and even with my dark sunglasses on, I could easily see that it was clearly a bright red or orange plastic toy that had been poorly spray-painted black. I could see that the plastic hammer, slide, and grip were, in fact, all fused together.

This kid was clearly more afraid of his parents than he was of me. The other kids in the car were alternately acting stunned or scared and trying to stifle the laughter of the toy threat.

I could easily have grabbed the plastic toy and then spent a long time berating the driver on the dangers of using a plastic w**pon around an officer in these circumstances.

I could give them a ticket for speeding. I could, but it looked to me like these were the kinds of kids who would take all that as something to brag about in school and to giggle about as they told their peers about how they got away with it or got caught doing something crazy. I was not convinced that either my lecture or a ticket would leave a lasting lesson. I had another idea.

I decided to play along. I raised my hands and told him not to do it and that we would work something out. He shouted again that he could not get a ticket and got clearly more agitated. I had no fears of him hurting himself but I figured he was capable of trying to drive or run away.

I had to calm him down so I offered him a deal. I promised him he would not get a ticket but I still needed to see his papers and I told him he had to promise not to drive away. He was so focused on not getting a ticket that he agreed. I took his driver’s license but he told me he lost his registration and insurance papers. I said again that he had to promise not to drive away.

He promised me he wouldn’t as sincerely as he could but I persisted, saying that if he did, I’d get in a lot of trouble. He assured me again that he wouldn’t … and then he said, ”here, I’ll even give you the keys”. That was what I wanted; I told him I had to go check to see if the car was stolen but I again promised him I would not give him a ticket.

I told him it might take a few minutes to run the license plate number and to make sure he was not a fugitive from some previous bad act. He swore he wasn’t. I said, “Yeah but I have to check because I already called dispatch saying I was making a stop and if I don’t call them back they will send more cars.”

I went back to my car and called dispatch and had them patch me through to the driver’s parents’ house. The mother answered and while I was explaining the situation, the father came home from work. He got on an extension line and I re-told all the details of the situation. The father was a chief petty officer and interrupted me a few times with cuss words and other comments about his wayward son. I told him I would not write up a ticket but only if he came down and took custody of his son and the car. He said he’d be there in 10 minutes.

I waited in my car and watched the kids in the convertible growing in anxiety over the next 12 minutes until the father arrived — still in his uniform — with the mother in the car also.

He came to talk to me first as I saw all four of the kids slink down in their seats. I told him that the speeding ticket was one thing but that bit with the plastic w**pon almost got his son hurt.

I impressed upon him that his son needs to understand how dangerous his actions were. I gave the father the keys and told him, next time, I’ll give his son a ticket and if he pulls some stunt like this again, he’ll be taken in.

The chief assured me that the toyswill be destroyed and his son won’t be able to sit down for a week and will be put on restriction, “so bad, he will think he is in Alcatraz.” That’s what I wanted to hear.

He shook my hand and then walked toward the convertible. As I drove away, I heard his voice shouting at the kids for quite some distance.

27. Adding insult to injury.

“Where I work there is a statute prohibiting leaving your car running unattended.

It is called no puffing laws. This is very popular during the winter time because nobody likes to freeze while their car is warming up.

However, doing this makes your car more likely to get stolen. It’s our policy that if an individual reports their car being stolen because they left it running, they will be ticketed.

It basically penalizes the victim of a theft.”

26. Women really do this?

Routine traffic stop for speeding.

When I got to the car window her top was down and her skirt hiked up and she was busy. She looks at me and says, “Officer I need help”.

I had to walk away, I was with a partner and he said let’s call for a lady officer. Which is what we did, Yes the driver was really cute, but we waited in our car and once the other officer arrived she told her to get dressed and decent and she stayed around to make sure the driver didn’t pull another stunt like this and we made sure she got her ticket.

This was back before car cams and body cams so we needed to have an extra set of eyes/witnesses in case she made a complaint.

Funniest thing was that at shift end when we went back to the squad room the Sgt. who must have heard the call we made said, “So I see you met ……. she has tried that drop your drawers trick with us before, good thing you rookies did not fall for it.”

25. A sad state of affairs.

“Not an officer, but still technically law enforcement at the time.

When I was in the Coast Guard, I did a lot of drug and migrant interdiction down in the Caribbean. Chasing drug smugglers was pretty fun, but interdicting the migrants was always sad.

We would usually find Haitians or Cubans and the Haitians were always much worse off. It was pretty heartbreaking having to send them back after seeing the state they were in, and the state of country they were trying to leave. They would go through such great lengths to leave and we had to stop them. One guy tried to light himself on fire and others would try and injure themselves to try and get us to take them to US health care facilities.

The only redeeming thing about interdicting them was their ships were always very shoddily made and often times our act of interdicting them was also us saving them from a sinking ship.”

24. I wonder if she agreed.

I stopped a young man (early 20s) for speeding one night. His passenger was an attractive young lady whom I would guess at about the same age as the driver. Thinking I had caught a whiff of booze as he asked why I had stopped him and he seemed more nervous that what I would call normal, I ask him to please exit his vehicle and told his passenger to remain seated in the vehicle.

When the driver and I walked to the rear of his car I went through the normal traffic stop routine:”Sir, may I see your driver’s license, where are you coming from and going to, have you been drinking tonight, do you know what the speed limit might be on Olsen Road? Blah, blah blah. “

Then I must have hit the correct button when I asked him, “Sir, before I run a check on your license, do you have any outstanding wants or warrants for your ar**st?” I actually thought he was about to start crying or going to have a litter of kittens right there on the side of the road, because he started saying, “please officer don’t write me a ticket, please I beg you officer.” Before I could advise him to calm down, he blurted out, “Officer I can not get another ticket this year or I will lose my license. If you will not write me a ticket I will let you___ my girlfriend.”

I must have now looked like the one going to have a litter of kittens because before I could form a reply, he said: “She is good officer, I promise she is.” The first thought that popped into my mind was this had to be a setup, and I started looking around for the Internal Affairs unit that I figured must be parked in the area.

Not seeing anything that looked out of place, I thought to myself this guy is serious, and he must have thought from the way I looked at him that I was gay or something because he then said, “Or I can give you a BJ”.

In my years on the street, I have been offered money, tickets to an NFL game, free merchandise at a local department store, but never anything remotely like this before. I just kept looking at the kid with a stunned look on my face and finally got my voice back, handed him his driver’s license back and told him to slow down, drive carefully and to have a good night.

I spend a number of years in the department after that night and never had anyone else try to get out of a citation by offering what he did. After he drove away and I sat in my unit, I thought I could have gotten him for trying to br**e a peace officer. But then I thought if he chose to contest the br**ery charge, what jury would believe me?

23. This doesn’t seem right.

“Click it or ticket seatbelt enforcement.

At least here in Kansas, depending on the amount of tickets written for seatbelt violations (and other, I believe driving while blasted is worth more ‘points’ on the scale”) the more money the state will give you to purchase equipment for your department. Sounds like a decent deal, right? Seat belts are an important piece of safety equipment, plus you can earn funds for better gear for your officers.

Departments get a little crazy over this one. Especially when they don’t get many tickets written because PEOPLE ARE FOLLOWING THE LAW. I know, because I used to sit and look for them, and when I couldn’t find anyone not wearing a seat belt for 2 hours and went off duty, I was told later that night I could no longer participate in click it because I hadn’t written any tickets.

Because people were wearing them.

Which is compliance, and ultimately the goal of the entire darn program to begin with. I told them fine, because the only reason I had signed up was because of the memo sent out that nobody had, and they were begging people to do it. I later was told I could come back and try it again, as nobody else had written any tickets either for the same reason, so long as we all realized that it’s up the the courts to decide if they had a seat belt on, and if you don’t see a seatbelt to write them a ticket even if they have one on when you get up to them.

Basically telling us to cite people who weren’t breaking the law, so they could put numbers down, to get money.

Needless to say I left that department shortly after.”

22. There’s a story to tell.

A constable of my acquaintance was patrolling the MI in England back in the seventies and he stopped a car going (quite) a bit too fast.

He recognized the driver as Tommy Cooper. For the uninitiated, Tommy Cooper was one of the absolutely top comedians in the UK and his shtick was based around his persona as an incompetent magician.

Cooper said he was on his way to a gig and was running late.

He fast-talked his way out of a ticket as only he could and, as the cop let him go, he shook him by the hand saying ‘Thank you, officer, Thank you, thank you. Have a drink on me,” and pressed some paper into the officer’s hand.

He waved him off and looked at what Cooper had given him.

It was a teabag.

21. Oh. My. God.

A neighbor called me saying that they heard endless screaming coming from their neighbor’s residence.

I got there, knocked on the door and was completely shocked to see a pair of dismembered testicles on the ground. I was quickly withdrew my handcuffs and asked what was going on.

It turns out that the wife found the husband on the list of members on Ashley Madison.

Witnesses outside the home said they heard screams such as “Oh no! Get away from me! Please! Stop unreasonably castrating me!”

Still one of the strangest calls I’ve ever been dispatched on.

20. Neither of them will forget it.

I was driving home from my sisters place on the NY thruway and had a date coming over about the time I’d get home. So, I had done my hair and my makeup prior to leaving.

Unfortunately, I was running out of gas. I checked my ticket and realized I couldn’t make it to the nearest rest area. I also realized that I could make it quite easily to the rest stop in the opposite direction. So, as I drove along, I saw a “No U turn” sign right next to a paved lane that went from my side of the thruway to the other side. I looked in front and in the rear and saw no cars at all so I made a U-turn on that paved lane.

Just as I was up to full speed, I heard the siren behind me. I pulled over and the good looking highway patrolman came up to my car. He explained that he had seen me make a U turn and asked if I knew it was not allowed to make a U-turn on the thruway. I explained that I did know because I found the place to make the turn by the No U-turn sign. The officer asked why I had made the U-turn and I explained about running out of gas.

The officer is now shaking his head and almost laughing at the ditzy woman he was talking to. He obviously could not believe that i was being so honest and thinking I was definitely weird. He now asks me if I’m in a hurry. I replied that I was because had a date back in Syracuse and didn’t want to be late.

Now he’s totally flummoxed. He explains that the ticket i had just earned would cost a lot of money and that it was dangerous doing what I had just done. I said I understood and apologized. He then told me if I promised never to do that again, he’d just give me a warning and let me go home to my date. I promised never to do that again and he said god bye and I hope this date was worth it.

I am now 73 and have never again make a U-turn on an interstate/ thruway.

I don’t remember if the date was worth it.

19. Ungrateful much?

Got a call for a noise complaint at a frequent flyer’s house so we cruised out figuring the guy was inebriated and we’d pick him up on a parole violation.

We got to his house and he had literally blown off half of his garage and half of his arm trying to make dabs.

Turns out the guy thought he just had to burn a bunch of weed and it would melt down into oil so he gathered up a dozen propane tanks and somehow managed to turn his garage into a tinder pile.

The best part was he swore up and down (while he’s screaming in pain) that we only came out to “steal his stuff”

18. An innocent encounter.

When I was 19, I ran my car through a red light. I didn’t realize there was an officer not far behind, but when they put on their siren, I pulled over.

I was aware that I was very attractive to men, (only because I got whistled at wherever I went and was constantly being asked on dates – even by random strangers, and because guys I did know were regularly telling me they thought they were in love with me. I was also earning a lot of money as a model, but I was a university student and hated the whole modeling industry – I only did it for the money).

When the two offers pulled me over and one said something like “You do realize you just went straight through a red light, I batted my eyelids and said “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. I genuinely didn’t realize: (or something very similar). They both looked at each other. One said something like “Shall we give her a ticket” and the other one said something like “No – I don’t think so”.

I didn’t feel great about it, because I realized that I had just been manipulative. And I know a lot of men would say that this is an unfair advantage women have over them. But I was studying a lot about the lack of power women had suffered from over the centuries, and figured we should be able to use what little power we had.

They told me to be careful that I didn’t do it again, and I said something like “Oh, I promise I will be very careful. “ So, I didn’t get a ticket. Regardless, it did make me much more careful as a driver.

17. What was her reason, though?

Got sent to a street out the back of our sleepy little town.

Someone was using a chainsaw at 2am.

Not unusual because the properties are really big but this was being done next to another house (in a garage).

Turned out to be a lady chasing her husband around the room trying to jab him in the junk with the chainsaw.

16. Give a kid a break, huh?

“I live in a community that is basically addicted to hunting. So most kids have their own tools and car by 17. Our school obviously has a rule about not allowing hunting gear on the property in any way, shape, or form. Sometimes people are hunting before school though and forget to drop the w**pon off at home first. My friend did this once. He was already a few minutes late for class so he went to ask for a slip to return it home.

The w**pon was unloaded, in his trunk, and locked in a case like it was supposed to be. He went to the office to ask if he could be excused to return it home, it would take him maybe 15 minutes tops. Nope, the school called law enforcement. One of the town officers came, listened to the story, searched the vehicle and found the w**pon, perfectly and safely packed away. He looked the superintendent dead in the eye and said he wasn’t going to ar**st a kid for trying to do the right thing.

The superintendent later tried and failed to have the officer fired.”

15. That can be arranged.

I got dispatched to loud music one night at an apartment complex. I arrived and could clearly hear Snoop Dog being played while I was standing in the parking lot. I banged on the door for well over a minute to no avail.

I open the door to find two stoners high out of their minds. Guy was laying on the couch while his friend was laying on the floor. I see clear as day a pound of weed on the floor next to the guy. He was hugging it like Tom Hanks hugged Wilson.

He looks up at me with a look of pure disgust and says “No, don’t take my kind bud.”

Alright pal.

14. This apparently is a thing?

There was a club where the male patrons were known to use.

The only women there were entertainment girls. We were driving down the street and saw a car pull out of the parking lot and roll through the stop. We did a traffic stop. I walked up on the driver’s side and as I was approaching, I saw it was one of the entertainment girls, so I was just going to give her a warning and head back to my car.

But as I was walking up she was kind of wriggling around in her seat, which made me a little cautious, so I slowed down. When I reached her window, she smiled up at me and said, “Hi deputy.” and then she looked down at her crotch. She had hiked up her short skirt and pulled her panties to the side.

I told my partner he should check out the VIN and walked back to our car. He raised an eyebrow, walked over to look at the VIN. He saw what I saw, came back to the car and said,

“Unusual place for a VIN”

13. The “Lady Gaga Program.”

Received a noise complaint at 230 AM. We went to make contact with the individual and when we arrived, the house was shaking to music that was so loud, you couldn’t understand the lyrics. We knock repeatedly with no response.

After shining our flashlights into the window, he sees our lights and walks past the front door into the garage. At this point, we are concerned for our safety because we have no idea why, or what, he went into the garage for.

He opens the door slowly, steps into the door way revealing this 60ish yr old man in nothing but his tightie whities looking like Walter White. He begins to apologize and follows up with “the Lady Gaga program is almost over anyways.”

Myself and the other officer can’t control our laughter, we ask him to turn it down and leave in tears.

12. It’s funny *now.*

Not sure if the guy in question actually tried to get out of a ticket, but at one time back in the day some colleagues & I were trading stories in the break room at our office. One mentioned a fraternity brother when they were both pre-law at the U. of I. (name withheld to protect the clueless) who was pulled over one night in the wee hours on a stretch of I-57 near Champaign-Urbana.

The kid had apparently dropped some “windowpane” acid and was on the verge of suddenly going from Wonderland to a potentially very bad trip.

The state officer walked over to the driver, examined his license and registration, noticed the guy was both terrified and spaced out, and gently asked, “son, do you have any idea how fast you were going?” Now, the speed limit was still 55 back then but the kid was freaking out over the possible consequences of confessing to his actual speed and gulped, “uh, sir… 75?” The trooper leaned in further and said, “son, here…on the freeway…in a 55 MPH zone…you were doing…twelve miles an hour!”

My friend was called, picked up his slow-tripper roomie, took him back to the frat house and sat with him till he “came down.” The officer was laughing so hard (and had the keys anyway till my friend arrived) that there wasn’t even a written warning!

11. What a mess.

Officer for over twenty years in one of the largest cities in the U.S.

Neighbor called to report loud music and yelling in the apartment above his.

The tweaker inside fired at us through the door then got himself in the head.

He blew his jaw into pieces and the bullet went through the roof of his mouth and took out his eye before going through the ceiling.

He survived.

I got paid a lot of overtime.

10. The proof is in the…pudding?

On night, around 2 AM, I just completed assisting a motorist with a flat tire on H-1 Freeway west bound, when a white Ford Mustang blew by me at a high rate of speed. I chased the car with lights and siren on, clocking it at 120 mph.

As I caught up, the car slowed and pulled over. The vehicle belonged to an Army officer and had one occupant, a young lady in her 20’s.

After receiving her drivers license and other documents, she was apparently the spouse of the vehicle’s owner. I asked her why she was traveling at such a dangerously rate of speed. She said something like Oh, officer, I just started my period and I didn’t want to stain my shorts! (the shorts were white) She spread her legs wide as she could while she was talking!

I looked down and pointed my flashlight in the area of emphasis. I replied, well, miss, you are too late for that! Since there was no evidence of Driving While Intoxicated, I wrote her a ticket.

She was lucky, I could have busted her for reckless operation of a motor vehicle.

Anyway, that for me, ranks as the most inappropriate action by a motorist on a traffic stop.

9. Why are people?

I’m an officer, and a musician.

There’s a nearby town with a few bars on the edge of town. It’s a great area for live music venues because it’s out in the sticks and not many houses to bother. However, there’s this ONE prick citizen who drives around to all the venues on weekend nights with a sound meter and checks the level at the property line and calls if it’s 1db over the limit.

The local PD usually doesn’t respond, but it’s still a nuisance. When I’ve played there, the owners/managers warn our sound engineer to check levels.

It’s just a jerk move… you could have a lead swap in one of these places and it wouldn’t drown out the TV in the nearest house.

8. A lucky moment.

I was patrolling around about 3 in the morning and noticed a car parked in the middle of the road with it’s lights off in a residential neighborhood. I kind of figured whoever was in the car was probably passed out so I went to check before I got up to the door of the car this female opens the door rushes out and pulls off I think it’s called a tank top.

She was waving it around and I notice another car stop.

The person in the other car asked if he could be of help and I just asked him to stand there as a witness while I tried to get her shirt back on her because I could see you where this was going. He stood there and watched and I got his information when it was all over and had her locked up in the car and asked him if he would be a witness if necessary and he said of course.

I could see that she was probably going to say that I took her shirt off and to this day I thank God this guy came by.

When I went to a deposition later on of course that’s exactly what she said. The witness who had stopped in the car to render help just happened to be the state’s attorney. When her lawyer saw who the witness was he immediately moved to settle the case.

By the way she received two years for obstructing an officer and lying under oath. how lucky I was to have this man driving by at the same time this was going on.

7. That does sound noisy.

I went to a noise complaint recently, it ended in a double homicide.

Guy heard his mom accidentally shatter the oven door and snapped, did her in with a FN 5.7. Neighbors called in a noise complaint and thought it sounded like g*nfire. Guy talks to them in a fake British accent, then get super agitated when they ask him about the noises.

Guy leaves the house and goes to a different county, where he stabs a guy about 20 times and steals his car. Guy comes back to his house the next day and neighbors let us know, and the SWAT team surprises him as he steps out back for a cancer stick.

Guy confessed the whole thing.

6. That’s one reaction.

I stopped a car on a 4 lane highway late at night.

The driver was an inebriated woman. A man was with her. After I dealt with her I had her stand at the back of her car and I was talking to the man who was still in the car. I looked back at the woman and she was standing in the middle of the left lane.

Traffic was coming and I rushed over and dragged her to the median then she went limp and just sat on the ground. When I tried to get her up her limp arms just flopped up over her head so I got a good grip on her and started picking her up and her arms flopped up again and I pulled her shirt off.

It was up on her arms then I pulled it back down over her. I guess she was willing to end it all just to get out of a “boozy driving” ticket.

5. I guess he was on a mission.

Responded to a house for a complaint of loud music around 11pm.

My back up gets there right before me and as i’m getting out of the car, shots are heard from the back yard.

We called for more units and made our way to the back of the house where we had to look through a 6 foot wooden fence to the back yard. We didn’t find anything or anyone once we got back there. So we circle around a few more houses just to make sure someone didn’t get hurt in the area.

Once we get back to the front of the original house, the back ups had arrived and we made contact with an older guy on the front screened in porch. He was sitting in a chair with his arm up on a small table to his side. We notice that right next to his arm is a loaded 44 magnum revolver. We draw on him and start giving him commands, and he throws epitaphs at us. We can’t get to him because he’s inside of this porch.

He gets up and walks inside of his house. We all retreat to cover positions. About 20 seconds later, he opens the door with a rifle in his hand and shoots at one of us.

You can probably fill in the rest. There were 8 of us there.

4. You gotta love people.

Now I wasn’t giving out tickets for much of my service and my specialty was never giving out tickets, but the most inappropriate thing people regularly did was to nominate someone as a great mate who who get them out of the ticket and make my life heck, if I didn’t withdraw the ticket immediately.

These proclamations usually went something like this:

  • Chap:”I know so-an-so and once he finds out what you’ve done your life will be heck unless you take this ticket back.”
  • Me:”Yeah, I known so-and-so for 5 years (followed sotto voce) and I in all of my dealings with him I’ve only ever thought of him as an utter a**hole. (normal voice) Here’ your penalty notice sir (explain how to pay).”

Afterwards I usually speak to the officer whose good standing is being taken advantage of.

Once, though, one chap said, “I know Sergeant Savage and once he finds out what you’ve done he’ll make your life heck unless you take this ticket back.” Me:”Yeah, I known Savage for ages and my life is pretty much heck anyway. Do your best sir, here’ your penalty notice (explain how to pay the penalty notice:”

I mean?!? how dumb was this dude!?!? I was wearing a badge with my name printed on it. I’d never see the driver before or since.

3. Sounds like quite a party.

Forth of July a few years back, we get a noise complaint call. Big crackdown on fireworks at the time so we had to respond to every one of these calls.

Get there and find a family having a party and setting off fireworks in the street. Give them a warning and leave. Call comes in again within an hour, go back and give another warning

This happens again before, on the fourth call, a supervisor comes too. He gets to the door prepared to give the homeowner a summons. Instead, the wife slams the door on his leg. That’s when all heck breaks loose.

He calls for the wife and husband to be taken in but before anyone gets cuffed, the entire party (over 40 people) start streaming out of the house and a full brawl ensues. Someone calls 10-13 (radio code for all units) and the entire precinct responds.

It takes almost an hour to wrangle everyone up and 30 people got locked up.

2. She probably doesn’t agree.

I stopped a woman with three kids in the back one Sunday morning on her way to church, or so she said.

I asked for her license and registration and proof of insurance and she said it was in her purse in the backseat.

OK, now she had on a pretty short skirt to begin with so instead of just reaching back and getting her purse, which she easily could have reached, or having one of the kids hand it to her, she unbuckles her seat belt, turns around in the seat, and bends over the back of the seat.

Now everything was on full display and she knew exactly what she was doing and so did I.

She got the ticket and I got the show. A win/win if you ask me.

1. A slow response.

Called in to the location station about a alarm going off on the apartment next door. They said if it was fire the fire trucks would arrive.

It was going off for 2 hours so I went and checked it out. It was a pump alarm so I was an annoying person and kept calling the station until some one came out.

Officers make the fire people come. Turns out a small electrical fire that taken the whole system off line and was still smoldering.

The building had serious wiring and fire suppression issues.

I’d hate to think what would of happened if I wasn’t a pain in the neck.

I’m telling you, any job that involves dealing with the public is gonna have more of these days than most!

If you’re an officer, did these ring true? Let us know about your own worst day in the comments!