I’m hearing an increasing amount of talk lately about what is and is not a “personality trait.” I’m unsure what the full utility of the critique is, other than to point out that emphasizing the mundane is tiresome and uninteresting. And, yanno, fair enough.

The last thing I want to be is BORING. So I’ve decided to start listening to the critiques the internet has about my generation (Millennials) and what we can and cannot claim as personality traits. My reformation begins today. Let’s see what we’re working with.

10. Nothing but the tooth

Got it, will no longer talk about my very cool mouth.

9. Who do you think you are?

I will definitely do more to understand which set of letters owns my soul.

8. A hairy situation

Maybe I should read these books someday?

7. Traitor Joe’s

I will go back to flavoring my bagels with tears.

6. It’s time

I will do my best to start liking Worse Vine.

5. It’s magic

I’ve never been but I’d better try it so I can be a real boy.

4. Gettin’ toasty

I will put banana slices on lukewarm bread like an adult.

3. Party started

I will keep all playlists separated from here on out.

2. Shave and rave

Diet coke and sideburns for me from now. On.

1. Oh boy

I hereby swear to never be a mom.

I don’t know how to tell Gen Z this, but telling Millennials which things are not personality traits is not a personality trait.

What do YOU think is wrong with us Millennials?

Tell us in the comments.