September 23rd is Celebrate Bisexuality Day, and the most recent instance was very eye-opening for me. I learned that several of my friends were bisexual whom I hadn’t know that about before, and it got me more curious about that life experience.

Which is why this thread on Reddit was so interesting:

Bisexual people of Reddit, how does your taste in men compare to your taste in women? Are you attracted to similar traits in both genders or do you look for completely different things? from AskReddit

Thousands of people chimed in. Here’s a little of what they had to say:

1. If you hot, you hot.

its more like “IF YOU HOT YOU HOT” but i find more hot in women than i do in men, its not really specific traits i can pick out tbh

like, i find a lot of girls really pretty, but find myself seeing men with similar traits and not thinking the same

– MaxAiidenKarmata

2. Physical attraction doesn’t necessarily mean romantic attraction.

I’m sexually attracted to either muscular/fit or feminine guys and girls, so the points of attraction are similar for me.

But I just can’t seem to fall for a guy irl, like I find them physically attractive but I never saw them in a romantic sense unlike girls which is strange.

– Marethyu_007

3. Do they show affection?

Purely sexually there’s a cross section of twinks and kinda punk rock pixie Chick that always gets me going.

Romantically if they show me affection.

– hatsnatcher23

4. Androgyny in all things.

Androgyny in all things.

If the human body was a slider with M/F being both sides I want it in the middle.

– CruzaSenpai

5. Show a little respect.

I still am kinda having a sexuality crisis, but for me I look for basically the same traits in both genders. Someone who respects and is willing to do things you like as well.

Not the relationship revolving around them, and definitely not the other half-assing their part.

Seriously, some people these days have problems with not even giving half the effort in a relationship.

– booshweebie_

6. At the end of the day…

I have dated men, women, and a trans woman, and loved them all in their own way. I am currently in a gay relationship with a man. I guess I find a lot of things attractive about all genders. I find feminine men very attractive if I am thinking about f*cking them, but I find masculine fit hunks attractive when I think about them f*cking me.

I love a fun flirty woman who is sweet and nurturing, but I also love an agressive dominant woman who knows what she wants. I love women’s bodies, their curves and boobs and legs, and how easy it is to have vaginal sex compared to all the prep work that is needed for healthy gay sex. I know its kind of rude, but trans women really can be the best of both worlds, I love the beauty and feminity of a woman, but with a penis to play with.

But at the end of the day, all that really matters is that we get along and love each other. Make each other happy and care deeply for one another. I guess I just want love like everyone else, I am just less picky when it comes to gender.

– [user deleted]

7. Find the emotional connection.

I’m bisexual and haven’t fully come out yet. To answer your question, I’m attracted to some guys, but haven’t found any emotional investment in a guy like I can with a woman.

I can definitely say “Oh yea he’s cute, I’d probably f*ck him” and same thing with woman.

But, again I’ve never found any emotional connection to guys as of yet.

– ThrowawaytimeMrbi

8. Is it all mental?

For me attraction is all mental. If we connect well I’m interested, gender is pretty irrelevant.

My type is nerdy, adventurous, passionate, but also laid back overall and kind/caring

– DaughterEarth

9. Other than the obvious…

In men and women I like personality first, then I grow the feelings. I prefer similar traits in both genders. If we’re just talking about what I find hot, then it’s hair, first and foremost.

This dude I’m into has this beautiful, longish blonde hair. It’s literally amazing. One of the girls I’m into has her hair buzzed around the sides and grown out in front. It’s really curly and adorable.

Other than the obvious (breasts) I don’t really have gender specific trait preferences.

– whatwillIletin

10. Pickier with one than the other?

Bi cis female here. That’s a really hard question, my “type” is kind of all over the place when it comes to both genders but usually I like more manly men and more feminine women, though there have been exceptions to both of those.

I find it a lot easier to develop crushes on women, it usually happens soon after meeting them but with men I need to know them for a long time and become attracted to their personality. There are guys who I can look at and say “he’s hot” but it’s not as common or as easy as the way I feel about women. I’m a lot pickier with guys

In terms of common traits I like, totally different for each gender. It’s confusing even to me sometimes but I can’t really think of any similarities between men I like and women I like.

– ihopeyoulikeapples

11. Weird metric, but OK.

Women who could beat me up and men who I could beat up.

(No beating up would actually occur)

– battleroulade

12. Femininity for the win.

I personally like very feminine people. To me it’s more like I’m attracted to a certain trait and I don’t care if the person is a girl or a guy.

I do have a preference for guys tho

– Autumnvibes1

13. Don’t wanna switch it up?

I’m specifically attracted to either tops or bottoms no switches

– Extra_Youtuber

14. It comes to personality.

For guys I want someone calm but smart and leader like, and with gals i want someone fun and creative

– better-live-fun

15. Don’t hate, validate.

I just want to say that I feel super validated by this thread as a bi dude. I’ve always had doubts about my “real” sexuality because of the types of men/women I’m into.

Seeing others have similar tastes to me is cool. Thanks guys

– Mostly-Lurks

Fascinating and varied answers! The more you know!

Are you bisexual? What sorts of preferences do you have?

Tell us in the comments.