Even with so many changing societal expectations, marriage is still the norm, and it’s kind of assumed by those around you that it’s something you’re going to do eventually.

Personally, I’ve always had a hard time understanding that since everyone who IS married seems pretty hellbent on telling the rest of us how not fun it is.

Or maybe that’s just the internet?

I decided to devise a test. A random sampling of tweets about the marriage experience. I’ll go through and award each one positive or negative points, and see if I come out the other end with more pros or cons.

Ready?

Let’s go.

14. No more watching stuff

I like things that I like.
Points awarded: -1
Total: -1

13. Being mad all the time

I already do that fine on my own.
Points awarded: -1
Total: -2

12. Cryptic conversations

I don’t need my whole life to be an episode of Unsolved Mysteries.
Points awarded: -1
Total: -3

11. A lack of comfort

You can take my gross chair out of my cold, gross hands.
Points awarded: -1
Total: -4

10. Potential night-death

I could actually respect this system, pillows are sacred.
Points awarded: 1
Total: -3

9. Road rage

And THEN we get to try to shop together? Oh boy!
Points awarded: -1
Total: -4

8. Chores, but wrong

Like being a teenager again without any of the energy.
Points awarded: -2
Total: -6

7. Free time penalties

I don’t golf, but…
Points awarded: -1
Total: -7

6. Marriage counseling, but mean

I think I know what the first session would be about.
Points awarded: -2
Total: -9

5. Doublespeak

Well I don’t NOT not want not to get any nothing, so there.
Points awarded: -1
Total: -10

4. Hamper panic

I feel neutral about this.
Points awarded: 0
Total: -10

3. Long errands

What like, outside? In the world?
Points awarded: -1
Total: -11

2. Talk yelling

I’ll allow it.
Points awarded: 0
Total: -11

1. Sleeping contests


Points awarded: 11
Total: 0

Welp, I’m back where I started. Guess I’ll have to make my major life decisions based on something other than the clearly playful tweets of internet strangers. Which sucks.

What do you think? Do you recommend marriage? Why or why not?

Tell us in the comments.