We’ve all been on little late night adventures to grab a snack. It can be a really fun diversion. It can also open up strange, unseen worlds known not to the day-dwellers among us.

But whatever story from your own life you’re now thinking of, I guarantee you it pales in comparison to that of Twitter user Josh Raby, who spelled out his own milkshake misadventure in exquisite, bizarre detail.

Chapter 1: I Am Begging Your Patience

When a midnight craving starts more than you bargained for.

Chapter 2: You Can Have It

Already, he’s not lovin’ it.

Chapter 3: My Desired Milkshake

At this point, nobody really remembers how to communicate.

Chapter 4: I Will Be Very Slow

Dude, I don’t need a milkshake THAT bad.

Chapter 5: A Deep Exhale

Oh. Maybe this isn’t such a funny story.

Chapter 6: An Apple Pie

Let them eat pie, I guess.

Chapter 7: A Weird Series of Beeps

Wait. WHAT?

Chapter 8: I Do Not Want

Quit playin with me, man.

Chapter 9: I Just Want to Go

This is too much.

Chapter 10: No Problem

You’re a part of the relationship now, friend.

Chapter 11: He Has His Thumb Out

So these two are, like, DEFINITELY high right?

Chapter 12: FINE

Why did you think you could just get away with that?

Chapter 13: 37 Minutes

Is this your anniversary or something?

Chapter 14: A Whole Separate Human

Spare a thought for those left behind.

I am agog. I am aghast. I may never seek another late night treat again.

What’s your weird late-night-out story?

Tell us in the comments.