I always bristle a little when people tell me that “everything happens for a reason.” Some things just suck, and they’re pointless, and we need to avoid them, not make excuses for them.
I’m more sympathetic to the “silver lining” philosophy, though. That being that even in the worst of circumstances, there’s something that can be learned. When we think back to relationships now long over, we may mostly feel pain or regret, but there’s gotta be something there to learn, as this Redditor said:
So, what did young love instruct us in?
Let’s find out.
1. Love the person.
Getting into a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship is the worst reason to be in a relationship.
Likewise, liking someone because they like you is the worst reason to like someone.
You want to date “a person”, not “their company”.
2. It’s about respect.
That love isn’t enough of a reason to stay with someone who doesn’t respect you
3. Watch out.
Don’t ignore the red flags.
Don’t let go of your self-respect.
4. It’s not fair.
Just because you treat someone well doesn’t mean they’ll return the favour, and the amount of people you can trust in this world is a lot less than you think
5. It might not fit.
That despite how much you love someone you can be incompatible.
At least I know now what I need from a relationship
6. You’ll survive.
Being alone is better than forcing yourself to be with someone you don’t love.
7. Quiet down.
That screaming at each other during arguments is not healthy
8. Things may come back to haunt you.
Never send sexy pictures with your face in them.
Doesn’t matter how in love you are, people get cruel after break ups.
9. Sincerity is key.
Even if they say they love you, they don’t always mean it 🙁
10. Love is a verb.
That “feelings” will fade away and what takes a relationship to be strong and healthy is the everyday, conscious commitment to love one another.
We’ve been together for almost 8 years and have crossed various stages in our lives, since high school, college, and we’re still together as she studies for med school and I as I pursue my career as an accountant.
We wouldn’t last this long if its just due to being “excited” for each other, which we actually still are haha, but its because of always making time and being committed to support each other no matter how busy we are, while still giving enough space.
11. Learn to compromise.
That you should never take any relationship for granted – you always need to make efforts and work towards keeping a happy relationship with the ones you love.
Didn’t do it back then (at least after some years), but at least it taught me how to do it for future relationships, so I guess that’s nice
I also learned that being in a happy relationship means that you (as well as your partner) need to make compromises from time to time – because nobody is always on the same page with everything. But in the end of the day, if you want to be a team, you need to make it work. Once somebody is not willing to do that, the relationship is going down the drain …
12. You won’t win them.
You can’t make someone love you simply because you do so much for them.
Doormat is not a good look on anybody! Also listen to your gut.
13. Talk it out.
How important pillow talk is.
It takes little effort and seems minuscule but it can mean a lot to the other person and really strengthen your connection with the other person.
14. Trust yourself.
That when everyone around you is saying that you guys are just the perfect couple and despite no real relationship problems something in your gut is telling you something is wrong, you should listen to that gut feeling.
That relationship ended 17 years ago and I’m still dealing with all the fallout.
Use condoms. It’ll save you A LOT of problems.
Valuable lessons, all. Now if only I’d learned how to GET a girlfriend sooner…
What’s your best bit of relationship advice?
Tell us in the comments.