Step right up, step right up and see the amazingly random tweets!

Guaranteed to amaze, delight, and increase your worldly wealth, these tweets are hand crafted by some of the internet’s greatest casual comedy artisans! Don’t push, don’t shove, but hurry hurry hurry to read these colorful collections of characters on display for the limited time of however long you keep this browser tab open!

Yes, you’ll love these so much you’ll break out into a bad impression of an old timey carnival barker to spread the news! I know because it happened to me, and now I’m trapped in this weird schtick! Help!

10. A frightful schedule

Honestly I’d be flattered if creatures from another realm took notice of me.

9. Simulation theory

Don’t think too hard about this while high or you’re freak all the way out.

8. A nice philosophy

Yeah, I’m sure that’s what he meant.

7. Wash my hands of it

Finally, I get to be as dramatic as I feel inside.

6. Bone apple teeth

Sounds delicious.

5. Run the numbers

I recently doublechecked that half of 20 was indeed 10, so, I feel ya.

4. New calendar system

We’re all in Groundhog Day now.

3. Dangerous sightings

Wait…does this really happen for real?

2. The great trade-off

This stuff doesn’t come for nothin’.

1. Love hurts

Hey, that’s gotta be somebody’s kink.

Move along now folks, that’s all the wondrous attractions we’ve got for now!

If Twitter were limited to only one topic that could be tweeted about, what do you think it should be?

Tell us in the comments.

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