What do you like to do when you want Twitter isn’t always a fun place to be, but sometimes it can be amazing. And that’s what we’re here for… the amazing part!
Listen, it’s not rocket science. When you’re on Twitter… follow the people who are hilarious and (generally) don’t talk about the bad stuff… and you’ll be fine.
And hey, if you want to get into all that… make another account! See how easy that is?
The following 13 tweets will make you happy you’re alive, so here we go!
1. All hail the TRUE miracle.
How did he maintain so many friends?!?
Nobody talks about Jesus' miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s
— LEGO Joseph Smith (@Mormonger) March 18, 2018
2. She certainly loves her surprise!
This tweet aged a bit though, yeah?
ELLEN: so i hear u tweet about wanting to die
ME: haha yeah, i do
*Death comes out, creeps up behind me*
ME: omg ellen you didnt
— scarfo (@Doughbvy) May 8, 2018
3. I actually love that spelling.
It’s so unique.
"Anybody here named Jeff?"
— mtobey (@mtobey) January 21, 2016
4. Let’s see it from BOTH perspectives.
I mean, is it really “violent” or is it “extremely necessary”?
there’s 2 sides to every story 😔 pic.twitter.com/Lx9K1bloCw
— liv 🧋 (@visitkingdoms) April 13, 2019
5. I think I’ve got this guy beat by one shirt.
It’s an easy way to live, fam!
What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates:
1. Nice shirt.
2. Wow. A second nice shirt.
3. Okay, first shirt again.
4. He has two shirts.
— ristolable (@ristolable) August 13, 2014
6. Sick burn.
You aren’t even well known, bruh!
most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns
— Cohen is a ghost (@skullmandible) December 12, 2013
7. Now that is some expert trolling.
I like the way she thinks.
Leaving my browser history open in case anyone in this coffee shop tries to steal my laptop when I'm in the bathroom. pic.twitter.com/IOo89Vypy7
— chelsea lockwood (@chelsealockw00d) March 16, 2014
8. Too much anxiety!!!
Too much chanting!
[Dentist waiting room]
Me: [chanting] teeth, teeth-
Other patients: teeth, TEETH
Secretary: [pounding her clipboard] TEETH, TEETH, TEETH!
— brandAn is good (@LeBearGirdle) August 17, 2017
9. A new measurement?!?
Zip a dee doo dah!
"I came downstairs for a zip of juice and noticed the tv was gone so I called you guys"
[cop stops writing] did you say zip of juice?
— brent (@murrman5) September 11, 2015
10. Now isn’t that dandy?
Who even thought of this lyric?
YANKEE DOODLE: *sticks feather in his cap* This is called macaroni
YANKEE DOODLE'S FRIEND: Ok, cool. Listen man, everybody's worried about u
— pat tobin (@tastefactory) October 3, 2015
11. Lettuce pray.
Do you think I’m hitting on you?
So today I was lookin at a girl bcuz she had a piece of lettuce in her hair & she looks at me and said "I have a boyfriend" ok lettuce head
— Benton’ (@Bentono10) September 14, 2016
12. Rhymes just weren’t sick enough.
Go back to grandma, son.
hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it's over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it
— chuuch (@ch000ch) October 19, 2013
13. Oh jeezus…
Wait what do you mean Jesus loves me? Did he say something to you? OMG I'm freaking out right now tell me his exact words.
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) December 4, 2013
Did you like that collection of tweets? Yeah you did! There’s something here for everybody.
Let us know which of these you liked the most, and then go out there and write some tweets of your own.
You can do it!