In case you missed it, or in case you’re reading this at a time when this happens to be old news that you’ve rightfully forgotten, here’s a quick little story about love’s labors lost.
Martin Shkreli became infamous when he jacked up the price of insulin for no reason but to make him and his Wallstreet bros a bunch of money. Disgusting and unconscionable, but because this is America, not illegal.
THEN we found out that he did a bunch of other stuff that WAS in fact very illegal. A woman with a prestigious journalism career started reporting on the ongoing stories. She found herself on his side. Then BY his side. And pretty soon, she’d given up both her job and her marriage to be with him.
Fast forward a bit, he goes to jail, publically says “Bye, felicia,” and she’s left holding the bag with absolutely nothing. So. In light of that…
in light of the shkreli story, what is the most ridiculous or embarrassing thing you ever did to be with a partner who wasn’t worth it or didn’t deserve you?
— Elly Belle, notably not a woman 🔮 (@literElly) December 21, 2020
Let’s be honest. A lot of us have stories like this. Probably not so extreme, and certainly not as publicized, but still. Here’s what it reminded the people of Twitter about.
1. Something about this doesn’t add up.
I took a math class for an ex, like an in person college course. she got mad at me when I got a C, which in retrospect is ridiculous bc I never claimed to be good at math
— sappho trap house (@kcdanger) December 21, 2020
2. Oof, what a trip.
convinced an ex to join me on a trip to alaska, only to be dumped again halfway thru & still stuck with him for 3 more days, pretending I was totally fine, instead of just booking a different hotel to get some space
— Renée Reizman (@reneereizman) December 21, 2020
3. But it looks so romantic in the movies?
Got drunk and biked seven miles to his house in a rainstorm at night
— Krista Diamond (@KristaDiamond) December 21, 2020
4. Talk about a leap of faith.
I was willing to move to FL?? No job?? No friends?? No nothing except some (not even good!) dick?? pic.twitter.com/ZcHejRUWeS
— Bri Kane (@BRIawesome) December 21, 2020
5. That’s insane.
I listened to an entire ICP album from start to finish and made up compliments about it so he’d know I really paid attention to the lyrics. It haunts me to this day.
— Kitt Masters / Jen Comfort (@kitt_masters) December 21, 2020
6. But why would you regift the booze?
I once cooked dinner for a man who then told me he had concerns about my weight (twice). Luckily, I realized he wanted me to supplant my sense of my worth with his, so I kicked him out, regifted the booze, and had some great leftovers.
— Ariadne Oliver Stan Account (@marillenbaum27) December 21, 2020
7. Praise be.
Picked him up from the airport after we broke up because I refused to convert to his psychotic brand of evangelical Christianity so we could get married when I (obviously) dropped out of school
— ayla zuraw-friedland, responsive noodle (@kaylasansk) December 21, 2020
8. Cool guy!
shaved my armpits for his family member’s wedding when i didn’t want to and told him i didn’t want to. he was the kind of elder punk who acts super feminist and soft but was actually super misogynist, silencing, and literally shamed me for not wanting to shave. COOL GUY. 🤟🏼
— katy (@katy_kop) December 21, 2020
9. I remember that age.
At twenty-and-one-whole-idiot years old, a guy asked me to pretend to be a delivery person and take his ex [who he was trying to win back] flowers and a bear. My ass walked into a lecture hall and she clocked me IMMEDIATELY, then pulled me out in the hall to yell at me […fair].
— Teresa 🥳 (@teedotham) December 21, 2020
10. A professional job.
I saw a sex therapist and wrote a 500 word doc with all the ways I could feel comfortable opening our relationship (read: i was not comfortable) bc she had already cheated on me and told me it was bc she wanted to be poly and then she dumped me when I presented the doc to her.
— Hannah Rimm (@hannahrimm) December 21, 2020
Before you judge any of these folks just remember, love makes us all a little crazy sometimes.
Do you have a story like this?
Share it with us in the comment.