As the great philosophers at Good Burger once told us, “I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, we’re all dudes, hey.”

That’s what was playing on repeat in my head when I was reading through this thread on Ask Reddit:

If you were the opposite sex for a day, what would you do? from AskReddit

There were a lot of posts from my fellow men which predictably fell into the category of “I’D TOUCH ALL MY LADY PARTS A LOT AND DO THE FAPPING!”

Which, yanno, ok. Let’s leave that behind for a moment and look at the responses that women gave about what they’d do if they were men. I’m sure it will be a lot more thoughtful and enlightening.

1. …oh.


Masturbate, masturbate, masturbate.

Retract foreskin.

Replace foreskin.


Pee on a tree.


– Mtoastyo

2. Guess we’re not so different.

Jack off ngl i wanna know what it’s like to orgasm that easily

– f*ckmeup-scotty

3. Oof, this one hurts.

Go for a walk at night

– Calingaladha

4. Wow, really?


I’ve always admired the vocal range and the sound of a male’s voice.

It’s just… Wow.

– CryptikAngel

5. Don’t bother – childbirth is definitely worse.

Get myself kicked in the b*lls so we could settle the debate of whether it hurts more than childbirth.

– saelcaha

6. WHY?

I would whip out my d*ck and pee everywhere possible.

– cuntiee

7. See this is darkly fascinating.

Am female, so would be male.

I would get all the jobs done that I need doing eg car serviced, guttering fixed, house insurance updated and so on. My husband generally does these because he gets better deals. We tried it last year where I made a call, then he did. And he consistently got a better deal. Not exactly an empirically proven experiment but it was enough for us to decide he’s in charge of negotiating anything financial!

– SmolEmmywem

8. Freud was right?

I think about this all the time, I have a bad case of penis envy.

I would definitely get a blow job, I need to know how that feels. I would also masterbaute.

I would write my name with pee! I would put stuff on my erect penis and try to fling it in my mouth. I want a penis so bad!! They’re so cool!!

– biscuit272

9. Um…

Try and save as much of sperm as possible so I can get myself pregnant.

– ta_janae

10. This answer came up a LOT.

I would spend the day swinging my penis around like a pinwheel

– topsinator

11. It is pretty nice.

Walk around shirtless

– StuckInDreams

12. Username checks out.

Be euphoric for a day

– transpersonmaybe

13. *Sigh.* Yeah.

Let’s be real here.

Everyone would masturbate.

– SmallDixxsRBeautiful

14. Are they that bad?


No more boobs.

– imjustlivinghere

15. The range of motion is really pretty limited, ya’ll.

get a blowjob and make my d*ck move on command

– sailorigor

Well, now we’ve gotten to the bottom of that question, I guess.

What would you do if you could switch sexes for a day?

Tell us in the comments.